Fire Spirit Son

 

 

AUTHOR: Travelling One

EMAIL: travelling_one@yahoo.ca

WEB: http://www.travellingone.com

SUMMARY: A heroic deed leads to a battle for Daniel's spirit.

CATEGORY: Drama, adventure, h/c, angst

DISCLAIMER: The theme and main characters have been borrowed from the Stargate SG-1 tv series, and are copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended.

01/22/02

 

NOTES: If this story is having problems fully loading, please press "Stop" and then "Refresh". If this doesn't work, please let me know. - T.O.

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Jack sat on his roof, the clear night air filling his senses with the scent of the newly budding leaves of spring, the sound of crickets, the crispness of a billion uncharted stars glittering overhead. Tonight, even more than most, past missions kept invading his psyche, as he re-evaluated his effectiveness as a commanding officer. He knew he'd made some mistakes along the way, done a few things wrong. Memories of a mission not too long ago, when he hadn't been sure, kept replaying themselves; a mission that would never be forgotten…

 

_____§ §_____

 

Sam and Daniel heard the commotion from where they were walking, having been strolling around the pleasant hamlet of Uba Kar. Following the sounds, they found themselves on a familiar side-path, in a direct line towards a retreating crowd of confusion.

 

"Daniel - isn't that Suprio's house - one of the homes we visited yesterday?" Smoke was billowing from one low rear window, out the cracks of the simple two-story mud-brick dwelling. People were running furiously past the structure, others were standing and staring from a fair distance away, and all were screaming in panicked voices in the language Daniel barely understood.

 

"Yes …the man with the two small sons …Suvreyan and Sumano, I think ..." Daniel sped up, with Carter following closely behind.

 

The man he quickly recognized as Suprio was frantically clinging to his wife, each yelling towards the house, calling out the sounds of their sons' names. Daniel had the sickening feeling that the boys might still be inside, yet no one was even attempting to put out the fire or rescue them? Something in the back of his mind tugged at momentarily dispersed recollections, something about the masks and fire…

 

"Suprio?" Daniel yelled above the noise of the onlookers. "Where are Suvreyan and Sumano?"

 

Suprio had terror in his eyes when he motioned towards the house. Daniel threw a glance at Sam, who met his gaze and returned it with her own expression of fear and uncertainty. Why would no one try to get the boys out? Daniel knew he had an answer to that, somewhere …but his mind was in too much turmoil to remember. He raced towards the only door of the dwelling.

 

"Daniel!" Sam called after him, as she ran to keep up.

 

"Stay out here, Sam!" Daniel ordered as he ran into the house.

 

Sam watched in fear as her teammate disappeared into the smoky interior. Unless he called for her, she couldn't help him. The dwelling wasn't large enough to warrant risking both of them going in there. Sam held her breath and waited by the door, while the parents of the two boys stood not so patiently by the cobbled roadside.

 

Somewhere inside the structure a room was ablaze, but within the front chamber there was only thick smoke and darkness. Unsuccessfully stifling a cough, Daniel called out the boys' names, hoping they could hear him in the noise of the burning residence, and hoping even more strongly that they were somewhere nearby. There was very little in the way of furniture in most of these homes, Daniel had noticed the previous night, and not many hiding places, thankfully.

 

As he quickly groped his way into the adjoining chamber, the smoke became suffocatingly thick and black, the air difficult to breathe, and the heat intense. Dropping to his hands and knees, Daniel knew he could go no further towards the rear of the building. The last room on this floor was the kitchen, where Daniel was certain the fire had started. He prayed that wasn't where the boys had been playing. Getting near it, never mind into it, was out of the question. Gasping, inhaling smoke with each short breath, Daniel continued to call out the boys' names.

 

Coughing and crawling towards the ladder leading to the only room on the second floor, Daniel had doubts that he could make it up there. Smoke rises, and would be even more unbearable up above. As he drew near the ladder, continuously calling out to the two children between bouts of coughing and choking, holding his t-shirt over his mouth and nose, he heard a soft cry. His flashlight cutting through the brown-black smoke, Daniel caught glimpses of both boys, lying on the upper platform, struggling to their knees.

 

Taking as deep a breath as he could manage through his shirt, Daniel lunged up the ladder, grasping hold of Sumano, the five-year-old, and pulled him down none too gently, laying him at the base of the ladder while he dashed to reach Suvreyan. Stumbling and choking, Daniel swiftly grabbed the two boys around their waists and ran blindly in the direction of the door.

 

Still running, arms caught him, and he felt the youngsters being plucked from his grasp, other arms lowering him to the ground. Eyes full of smoke and sweat and lungs choked with the toxic fumes, Daniel accepted the care from whoever it was who was offering it to him.

 

His vision cleared as another pair of hands gently lifted off his glasses, wiping the soot from his face and eyes. As the air gradually became more easy to inhale, Daniel finally looked up to see Sam crouching beside him, Jack kneeling on his left, and Teal'c standing behind the colonel. All around, people were huddling by Suprio and his family, crooning, offering soft words of comfort. Others were staring unnaturally and intimidatingly in Daniel's direction.

 

"Are you not yet feeling well, Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c's eyes bore a hole through Daniel's own as their gazes met, and Daniel noticed the slight frown on the Jaffa's features as Daniel's wheezing cough began with renewed vigour.

 

Catching his breath, Daniel finally answered. "I'll be fine. It's getting easier to breathe."

 

"Quite a commotion you've caused, Danny," Jack gently commented, hand supporting Daniel's back as Sam cooled their teammates's face with a wet cloth from her pack. There was no way to get him help for smoke inhalation in this village, and the Stargate was three days' walk. "What, we leave you to one morning of leisure and you decide you need more excitement?" Jack had left Jadeo's house for the purpose of checking out the commotion, and had found Sam standing here in front of a burning building, waiting worriedly for their personal archaeologist to emerge. He had been about to go in and find Daniel himself, when the man had come running out with two children under his arms, head down and eyes nearly shut.

 

Sam, knowing Jack's remarks were not meant to admonish, spoke up. "That was scary, Daniel. But incredible. You should've seen the looks on everyone's faces when you ran in there. And then when you came out with the kids."

 

"Are they okay?" Daniel rasped between coughs. "They were in there a lot longer than I was, and up in the thicker smoke."

 

"They were semi-conscious, Daniel, but they've just been taken to a neighbour's house. They'll have a much better chance than if you hadn't rescued them," Jack stated the obvious. "Come. Let's get you back to Jadeo's." Helping their friend to rise, the teammates decided a day of leisure with rest and fluids for Daniel back at the home of their hospitable host would be more than recuperative for them all.

 

_____

 

The red eyes peered down through holes the size of watermelons, the entire effect bringing a sense of forboding to the onlooker. Daniel ran his hands over the rough wood, whose intricate carvings and painted patterns resembled the foreign reptiles of this world. Of the many masks covering the gateway to this small village, this was by far the most imposing.

 

"Nice-looking guy," O'Neill commented, grimacing slightly and tilting his head so as to avoid the sun.

 

"Fire god," Daniel answered vaguely, contemplatiing now the tales he'd been told about these looming faces.

 

"God of Fire?" Jack sort of repeated.

 

"No …fire god. Protects them from fire. They don't worship fire, they avoid it."

 

"Ah. Thanks for clearing that up."

 

"Sure. Any time," Daniel shot back. "Since you were going to ask …it also protects them from natural catastrophies as well as seemingly invincible enemies. It's a powerful one."

 

"Why are they so afraid of fire, Daniel? I mean, you seemed to be the only one going near that house yesterday."

 

"Uh, yeah …they're terrified of it. They believe if you're not afraid of fire, you're not afraid of anything. They actually fear the Fire Spirit too, but they revere it at the same time. They leave it to him to put out the fires in their homes, and figured if the children were supposed to be saved, this fire spirit …remind me to ask Jadeo if it has a name …would be the only one to save them." Daniel had remembered about the mask this morning, and had asked Jadeo for more details.

 

"They waited for a mask to save their kids?" Jack's expression looked more than a little disbelieving.

 

"Not the mask, Jack, the Fire God."

 

At Jack's dubious look, Daniel clarified. "Okay, don't ask me how he's supposed to do that. I don't know. I guess if the kids had managed to get out by themselves, they would've attributed it to him. If the children had died, they would've assumed the Fire God had taken them as a sacrifice, and no one would've mourned. Well, in public, anyway."

 

"Nice fellow. Goes with his good looks, I guess."

 

"Actually, he's not. He's a protective spirit, a guardian. He does battle for the people, keeps them safe… when he wants to. Obviously, sometimes fires will get out of hand. They believe their forest fires are caused by his anger. He's not known for having compassion," Daniel added.

 

"So who's this fellow?"Jack moved along the wall to gaze up at a mask with …hmmm …must've been tusks, at one time. "Daniel?"

 

Daniel came to stand beside him. "Their version of a warthog. God of…"

 

"Ah! Let me guess," Jack cut his friend off. "Safety from wild animals?"

 

"Good guess, Jack. Abundant hunting. Warthogs are a staple of their diet."

 

Jack looked at Daniel warily. "Tonight's barbecue?"

 

"Um …apparently. Think of it as pork chops."

 

"With tusks."

 

"You don't need to eat the tusks. Give them to Teal'c."

 

_____

 

The barbecue, a soft well-guarded fire under a pedestal of rocks, tended by a specially trained expert, was gently burning, while the cooks prepared the strips of meat nearby. This was a friendly gathering, with neighbours and acquaintances of the team's host, Jadeo, a well-respected man in the community. Besides being a get-together for his new visitors, this evening was a tribute to Daniel, celebrating the rescue of Suprio's two young children, ages five and seven. Food and drink were plentiful, and the local drummers were adding some noise that actually qualified as music, as far as Jack was concerned. He watched his teammates with pride, as conversation continued cheerfully around him. Daniel was being bowed to by everyone he met; Sam was sitting off to the right with a couple of their world's medicine men, trying to desperately learn some of this language, and Teal'c was playing with several of the townsfolks' children. Games, Jack figured, were the same in any language. 'What a bunch,' he thought fondly.

 

_____

 

After having thanked Daniel Jackson profusely and having offered him his own blessings, Suprio had taken this particular time to head off unnoticed. He would not be missed by the strangers, with all the frivolity and lively conversation taking place. Being the father of the children, he had been the obvious one to attend to this task, and the others would be keeping the four newcomers occupied for much of the night. Besides, he was the only one who could speak the Xifkis' language, having grown up with them as a child.

 

He headed off into the deepening twilight towards the thick forest, where the legendary, magical tribe was situated. It wasn't very often they accepted visitors, and then only when there had been a fire. The ritual needed to be done while Father Fire Spirit Einuaha remembered the newcomers, and, of course, before Daniel Jackson was taken back to his homeland. It was not often that a living, breathing Fire Spirit Son was found…not in the past sixty or seventy years, at least. And now, he had been placed right into their hands. Suprio bowed reverently to Father Fire Spirit Einuaha, who was everywhere, watching.

 

As the compound came into view, bamboo-type huts camouflaged in the thick foliage, Suprio gathered his nerve and took a breath, then headed with feigned composure to the door of the Xifkis' shaman.

 

Bowing low to the ground as the holy man opened his door, he stammered, "Holy One. An honour."

 

"Suprio. It is pleasant seeing you once again. We are aware of your encounter with Father Fire Spirit."

 

Suprio rose. "Then you are aware a new Fire Spirit Son has been delivered to us?"

 

"We have heard. Tell me what you witnessed."

 

Suprio began. "The stranger named Daniel Jackson asked about my sons, then strode casually into my burning home. Moments later, he withdrew, carrying Suvreyan and Sumano in his arms as though they were the daily bread. Then he left to take leisure with his comrades."

 

The shaman looked thoughtful for many moments. "And he has agreed to the ritual?"

 

Suprio took a breath, hoping the shaman could not see through his lies. "He has, Holy One." If this didn't work, his own two sons would be chosen. Not having walked out of the fire under their own strength and will, Father Fire Spirit still needed a sacrifice.

 

_____

 

The party was still going strong into the late night hours when Suprio returned with the shaman, Ao Lan. As they drew near, the local crowd quieted, and first one, then many more, bowed down low, upper bodies coming into contact with the earth, until all present, save for SG-1, were squatting nearly prone.

 

Daniel stopped mid-sentence, mouth open in astonishment. Jack scowled with suspicion, glaring warily at the painted man before him. The shaman's hair was long, nearly down to his knees, and midnight black, a vivid contrast to the orange and yellow paint on his upper body. He wore only loose-fitting white cloth trousers, and bamboo sandals.

 

But what concerned Jack the most, was that he had stopped directly in front of Daniel, and was touching his cheek.

 

Daniel was intrigued by this man, who was clearly a figure of honour and probably holiness judging by the crowd's reactions. He carried himself with the air of royalty, in spite of his advancing years. The man was speaking, but Daniel could not comprehend any of the words.

 

As the crowd rose to their feet, continuing with the celebration and leaving the men with a degree of privacy, Suprio came forth. "I am the only one amongst us who speaks the language of the Xifkis, Daniel. I lived with them as a child. Holy One Ao Lan wishes to meet with you, for news of your courage has travelled far."

 

Daniel blushed, looking at the ground for a long moment as he bowed his head towards the stranger. "Tell him it's my pleasure to meet him," Daniel smiled.

 

Ao Lan noted the calm, easy expression, and smiled back. This stranger seemed sincere."Tell Daniel, in my presence, of the fire ritual. I must know that he still approves and is willing," he said.

 

Suprio turned to Daniel. "He says it would be his honour to teach you of his own culture. If you are willing to spend the day with him tomorrow, touch the tips of your fingers to your forehead and bow."

 

Daniel looked over at Jack. "We have some more time here, don't we, Jack? This man's religion looks fascinating, I'd like to compare it to some of our Earth cultures like those of New Guinea, or the religious shaduus of Tibet and Nepal."

 

"Go for it, Daniel, but we leave day after tomorrow. We still need three days to get back to the gate." Jack smiled. Uba Kar's new hero was in his element.

 

Daniel smiled at Ao Lan, doing as Suprio had suggested.

 

Ao Lan nodded. "Ask him if he has all the information he needs, and if he has any questions."

 

"He asks," Suprio said to Daniel, while SG-1 stood by, "if there is anything you need tonight."

 

Daniel translated for SG-1's benefit, then shaking his head, answered as best he could in the language of this land, "No, everything's fine, Ao Lan. We are being well taken care of."

 

Suprio turned to Ao Lan. "He says he knows all he needs to."

 

_____

 

While Ao Lan remained in the village with Suprio's family and relatives that night, SG-1 talked well into the early morning in their small room, adrenalin replacing exhaustion. Finally, with Daniel's soothing voice droning on about the Earth cultures that reminded him vaguely of Ao Lan, Sam and Teal'c drifted off to sleep.

 

"Hello?" Daniel eventually whispered. "Anyone still awake?"

 

Jack was, but he wasn't going to let on. You'd think this would have put him to sleep too, and the fact that he was still awake was fairly annoying. He smiled in the darkness. Daniel was so excited, like a little kid at a playground. 'Good night, oh Curious One,' he thought to himself. He'd better get some sleep before Daniel decided it was morning and took off without him.

 

_____

 

Breakfast was an overwhelming display of hospitality, although Daniel was clearly impatient to get started. A visit to an actual shaman's home, or religious grounds, was a new adventure that intrigued the hell out of him.

 

As SG-1 and Jadeo followed Suprio's family and Ao Lan, an assortment of neighbours trailed along behind them. As the crowd grew and they neared the outskirts of town, Daniel thought he heard some whispered mutterings of "fire ritual" absorbed into the conversations, but couldn't make out individual dialogue as he plied Suprio with questions to ask Ao Lan. While Daniel could not understand a great deal of this language, he at least had the rudimentary structure and vocabulary, and could make himself understood.

 

"All shall be answered in time, Daniel. Ao Lan must prepare himself, and does not wish to speak now."

 

"Oh …okay ….Prepare himself for what?"

 

"All shall be answered in time, Daniel."

 

They soon entered a clearing, surrounded by tall standing stones painted in the colours of orange, red, yellow. In the large open central circle, an oval field of wood chunks and dry grasses had been set to smolder, being tended by men who looked to be from Ao Lan's tribe. People were gathering between the standing rocks, and …chanting.

 

"This is interesting." Daniel turned to Jadeo. "What is it for?"

 

Jadeo looked at Daniel in surprise. "This is the fire ritual you were told about." Suprio moved between the two men.

 

Daniel was puzzled. He knew he was going to learn about the shaman and his culture; perhaps this was a demonstration for SG-1's benefit? Or a regularly scheduled ceremony, which would be even better.

 

"Daniel? What's going on?"

 

"Um ...some fire ritual. I'm not sure yet, Jack."

 

"I do not have a good feeling about this, Daniel Jackson."

 

"I don't either, Daniel," Sam frowned, agreeing with Teal'c. "This isn't one of those demos where they take volunteers, is it?"

 

Jack threw Sam a look that clearly told her not to put ideas in people's heads.

 

"They don't understand us, Sir. But I really think we need to find out what's going on here."

 

"So do I," Daniel agreed. "Although we're probably going to see some demonstration of Ao Lan's skills." He turned to Suprio. "Could you explain this ritual to us? We are most curious." Daniel watched as the embers began to take shape into fire, the entire center of the clearing lighting up with low, billowing flames.

 

Suprio took Daniel's elbow, moving him away from the crowd and SG-1, who followed anyway.

 

"Daniel," he spoke quietly, "Any time there is a fire with people involved, such as the one in my home two suns ago, Father Fire Spirit Einuaha either claims them as his sacrifices, or he saves them by allowing them to emerge safely on their own. By risking yourself to save my childen, Daniel, you did not allow him that choice, so we must hold a fire ritual. By crossing this fire, Father Fire Spirit will have his chance to either save, or sacrifice. We must allow him his wish, if he is to honour us by continuing to protect our people."

 

Daniel watched the mesmerizing yellowish-white flames cover the ground, calf-high. "Who's supposed to walk through that? Ao Lan? That's impossible," he responded, horrified. He'd seen fire-walkers before, but they had always walked on smoldering embers, not through a burning fireplace. He didn't wish to see anyone, even a shaman, risk being "sacrificed" to their fire god.

 

"Daniel, you are able to walk through fire. I saw you! We all did!" Suprio retorted in surprise. "Surely, if you can walk through a huge burning house, you can walk across a small field?"

 

"What?" Daniel stared blankly at Suprio, realization hitting forcefully. "What? You expect me to do this?" The shock registering on his face was enough to cause his teammates to catch up to his side. "That's crazy!"

 

"Daniel?" Jack was sure he didn't want to hear what he thought he was about to hear.

 

Daniel turned to face Jack, his expression a reservoir of horror and shock. "They think I can walk through fire …this fire …the house …oh my god…" he turned back to Suprio. "No."

 

"WHAT?" Jack's voice rose in fury. "A misunderstanding, Daniel. Tell them!"

 

"You are the Fire Spirit Son, Daniel!" Jadeo had come up behind them. "We know you are! You have come here to lead and guide us, Daniel. Why do you deny it? We saw you walk through fire, we all did!"

 

Daniel was becoming oh so scared now, his stomach turning. "No, … no! I just went into the smoke, I didn't go near the fire. I had to rescue your children, Suprio!"

 

"And you did! You have no fear of fire." Suprio was adamant.

 

"Why do you protest?" Jadeo asked. "You agreed to do this."

 

"I didn't!" Daniel's voice rose.

 

"Yes. Last night. You told Ao Lan you were willing," Jadeo said.

 

"No! I agreed to learn about his culture and rituals, that's all." Daniel looked desperately at his teammates, knowing that was futile. Without being able to speak the language, what could they do? Jack was holding onto Daniel's sleeve, not about to let go. "I didn't agree to this, Jack, I swear! I didn't." His wide eyes were filled with fear.

 

"Of course you didn't. Not intentionally, anyway. And you're not going to. Let's say our good-byes and get out of here." Jack fingered his rifle. He didn't want to have to hurt any of these people, especially not over a misinterpretation of the language on Daniel's part. No matter how innocent a mistake, it was not going to turn out deadly.

 

"Jack, Suprio didn't say anything about this ritual." Daniel was pleading, but for what he wasn't sure. It wasn't Jack he had to convince. "Suprio, please …you…" Daniel's eyes widened with the revelation, "you lied to me," he said quietly. "You tricked me." His accusing words cut his own trust with the realization of their truth. "Why?"

 

Suprio gazed straight into Daniel's huge eyes. "Because we believe you can do it, Daniel Jackson. Because all these people believe you to be the new Fire Spirit Son. Because all these people are counting on you. And because if you don't do this, they will make my children do it."

 

Daniel froze. "What?"

 

"Father Fire Spirit had to decide to save my sons, or take them. But you decided for him. The ritual will go on now, with you or without you, and my sons will be made to face the fire. But since you are not afraid of fire, we believe you to be the chosen Fire Spirit Son. You will therefore come out of this unharmed."

 

Daniel suddenly felt light-headed. He lowered himself limply to the ground, Jack kneeling beside him, refusing to let go of his sleeve. Sam crouched on the opposite side.

 

"Daniel?" Jack's expression was more than worried. What had Suprio just told his friend?

 

Daniel rested his head in the palms of his hands. "Oh god." His voice came out muffled.

 

"Daniel Jackson? Please translate for us what had just occurred." Teal'c was eyeing Suprio with extreme uneasiness, as well as the approaching Ao Lan. The crowd was whispering in hushed tones, sharing snacks as though at a sporting event.

 

Daniel looked up at the worried faces of his friends. His eyes were frightened. "The ritual goes ahead with me or without me. They're going to make those two little boys do it if I don't."

 

Jack was incredulous, outraged. "What? Of all the fucked up, demented…"

 

"Jack, they truly believe the fire god will abandon them if he doesn't get to decide for himself if those children are to be saved or not. I interrupted the process by saving them myself."

 

"Well, they would've died in that house fire!" Jack nearly yelled. Don't you dare go feeling guilty about this, Daniel.

 

"And they all would've accepted that. And now if I don't do this, they'll die here, right now." Daniel couldn't believe what the choices were.

 

"Daniel, you can't do this," Sam said.

 

"God. I know that." Daniel's voice shook; he was giving in to the feeling of defeat. "But how can I not?"

 

"Daniel…" Jack wasn't about to let his friend be used as kindling, that was out of the question, albeit a most bizarre and surreal question. He looked from Carter to Teal'c. "Options?"

 

"We can walk away from here, Sir."

 

"And the kids die, or at least are horribly injured. And since I don't see a burn unit here …the kids die." Jack continued.

 

"Right."

 

Ao Lan appeared beside them, speaking to Suprio, who proceeded to translate.

 

"Listen well, Daniel. After removing your clothing, you are to cleanse yourself with water from that stone basin. You must complete the ritual before the sun is fully overhead." Suprio paused. "You will do this, Daniel, will you not?" His look was hopeful, pleading.

 

Daniel was silent as his friends glared at the man. He lowered his head. "I'll let you know," he whispered.

 

As the four teammates were left to themselves while the onlookers prepared to wait, finding resting places among the nearby stones, picnicking and sharing camaraderie, Sam, Jack, and Teal'c gathered around Daniel, silently trying to figure a way out of this mess. The trained fire-keepers were faithfully tending the burning grasses, keeping them at constant strength. Daniel rested his chin on his clasped hands, eyes closed.

 

"These people don't know anything about fire, Colonel. If we had baking soda and vinegar, Daniel could put out each step of the way with invisible carbon dioxide," Sam theorized.

 

"Carter…" Jack warned.

 

"Would not a fire extinguisher do as well, Major Carter?"

 

Sam's brow knotted. "Point taken, Teal'c. Not standard military provisions. We'd need too much, anyway." She was grasping at straws.

 

"Water doesn't burn, right, Carter? So if Daniel washes himself in it and then runs across that field…could he be okay?"

 

"Not enough water, Sir, and unless we can soak his clothing, which we can't…"

 

"I'm not taking my clothes off, Sam," Daniel quietly cut her off.

 

"…the water will dry too quickly in the heat, before he's even part way across. And if his legs are burned…"

 

"He'll fall."

 

Silence ensued, the comments cutting deeply into their distress. O'Neill's eyes bore into Sam's, until she had to look away. She desperately wished she could offer another alternative. There was no way Daniel could do this without major injury or trauma.

 

It seemed like an eternity before Carter broke the silence once more.

 

"Daniel," she said gently, touching his arm and looking around at the three tense, near-frantic faces, "this is risky, but I have an idea."

 

Three pairs of eyes snapped up, dread mixing with hope. "Spit it out, Carter." Jack wasn't encouraged by the tone of her voice, but he was willing to listen to anything.

 

"Well …okay, here goes. What if you don't actually cross that field…"

 

Daniel lifted his head. "I have to."

 

"No, I mean, start to, pretend to, then distract them by giving them a spectacle, a miracle, such as they've never witnessed before. Step out of the fire right away...and keep their attention by giving them a message from the Fire Spirit. Who knows …chances are they've never even had to hold a fire ritual before, so they might not even know what rules it's supposed to follow."

 

"Carter, there's no one here who follows you but …you. Care to let us in on the magic trick you're talking about? One that doesn't require," Jack squinted at her, "vinegar."

 

"Not vinegar, Sir. Alcohol… Okay, I know what this is going to sound like, Daniel, but hear me out. You know I would never do anything to hurt you." She inhaled slowly, choosing her words. "A simple science project, Sir." Or not so simple, she added to herself, as anything could go wrong and it was Daniel they were talking about here. But it would get him out of the fire a hell of a lot faster, and maybe they could put an end to these absurd and deadly rituals at the same time. She glanced around at her teammates, hopeful eyes waiting for her to continue. She was caught by Daniel's haunting expression, filled with a desperation willing her, needing her, to come up with something manageable. For no other reason than to save his life. Her voice stuck momentarily in her throat.

 

"Okay, let's say you mix pure alcohol with an equal amount of water, then pour it on something like a dollar bill and light it, it flares up quite impressively. The alcohol evaporates, extinguishing the fire, while the water absorbs the heat. So as long as the fire is out before the liquid's completely evaporated, the object won't ignite. It'll remain in mint condition, even staying cool. You could do it with basically anything, I could even use my own hand …I'll show you if you want." She looked at Daniel. "Daniel… there was plenty of moonshine around at the gathering last night …I'm willing to bet it might work. We could get some and pour it in the basin. It was pretty potent; it'll only take a few minutes for me to test it's combustibility."

 

"Christ, Carter, what're you saying? Ignite Daniel?"

 

"No, Colonel. He won't ignite. It'll just look like it. Just his legs and arms. Daniel, if you step out of the fire right away waving your arms at the crowd, it'll scare the hell out of them, while extinguishing the flames. I'm also thinking, you can tell them that you're a messenger from the Fire Spirit, who wants no more sacrificial rituals to take place."

 

"Will he not feel the fire, Major Carter?" Teal'c queried.

 

Sam looked up at him. "No Teal'c. The water in the alcohol mixture will absorb the heat. He won't feel a thing. Believe me, it's a lot more predictable than the alternative." Her eyes met Daniel's; fear and hope, uncertainty and trust. "But it'll be damn scary," she warned him. "You'd only have a few seconds to pull this off."

 

"Okay…" Daniel's voice was shaky, barely above a whisper. He cleared his throat, twice. "We'll try that then."

 

"No, Daniel. We won't try it. If we agree to this, we'll do it, and it'll damn well work. Perfectly," Jack responded.

 

"We can't let them know what we're doing, Sir."

 

"You're sure this will work, Carter? It's sounds insane."

 

"No, Sir. I'm not. I've obviously never tried this on an entire human body before. But I am sure that if we don't do this, Daniel will be hurt."

 

"I shall get them to give us some jugs of this moonshine," stated Teal'c. "I will inform them that Daniel Jackson needs to consume it and to share it with his friends before he attempts this ritual."

 

"And when we pour it into that basin," O'Neill concluded unnecessarily, "it'll look like water, anyway."

 

"Let's just hope I can get a mixture balanced enough to work." Sam tried to quell her uneasiness. They all knew well enough how quickly things could go wrong.

 

_____

 

"O'Neill."

 

"Teal'c?"

 

"I do not wish for Daniel Jackson to go through this." Teal'c had easily procured the moonshine, for Jadeo had been eager to help. Assured that the ceremony would not start without him, their host had been willing to return to the center of town for the requested treat.

 

"Join the club, Teal'c."

 

Teal'c cocked an eyebrow. He was not willing to play human word games, right now.

 

O'Neill noticed, and shook his head."Teal'c… do you think I'm okay with watching Daniel do this? Hell. We've seen him burn to death once already, all of us. Only this time it could be for real. How do you think that makes me feel?" The memory of that agonizing loss still chilled his blood.

 

"Perhaps nearly as afraid as Daniel Jackson."

 

Jack concentrated on Teal'c's guarded features. Sure. Nearly. God, Daniel.

 

_____

 

"Are you okay with this, Daniel?" Jack stood close to his friend. Damn. Daniel shouldn't have to go through this twice in three days. Wasn't it enough that he had run into a burning building to save two children?

 

"It's scaring the hell out of me, Jack," Daniel admitted, looking up at Jack with wide eyes, pleading, clinging to a degree of hope that couldn't know what was at the end of this, whether he'd come out unscathed. His heart was racing.

 

"Yeah …me too." Crap. Daniel was wearing only his boxers, which were dampened with water; it was all Ao Lan would allow him to keep on, and as much as he was willing to remove. It was better this way anyway, Sam had insisted; the less fabric to accidentally catch fire, the better. It would also be more convincing, she'd assured him.

 

"You'll be fine," Jack's reassurance was meant for the both of them. "Just get the hell out of there as fast as you can. Step in, then step out. We'll smother whatever fire doesn't extinguish itself. We'll be there, Daniel, I promise." A lukewarm promise for a man stepping into the heat. Crap. What if this didn't work?

 

"Yeah…" Daniel wasn't totally accepting the extent of this yet, his heart pounding, his throat dry. He wasn't really going to do this…was he? God… this felt so unreal.

 

Sam approached the two teammates, as Teal'c discreetly filled the basin with the moonshine. The crowd was beginning to get to its feet and excitement was in the air. Suprio was at one of the far standing stones, his wife clinging to the hands of their two small children.

 

"Ready, Daniel?" Sam asked softly, covering his hand with hers.

 

"God, no," he whispered.

 

"Keep the stuff out of your hair and off your face. Just to be safe, although the fire shouldn't flare anywhere near that high."

 

Shouldn't? Jack rubbed Daniel's back, then squeezed his shoulder gently, still unbelieving that his friend was being forced to do this, and that he was allowing him to. A rock and a hard place.... He waited, saying nothing. Daniel was a courageous man. He should be having misgivings, this whole situation was damned frightening. And foolish, they knew, yet what choice did he have? He could have walked away, but he hadn't. He could've been heading home right now, to the safety and predictability of Colorado. But here he was, out of choice, performing a blasted fire ritual, for crying out loud, to save two small children. Jack squeezed Daniel's shoulder again. "Remember, do this fast," he whispered. "Very fast. In and out." Daniel nodded, then stepped forward. The onlookers hushed. Daniel approached the basin, applying liquid to his legs and arms, a canteen of water to his face and hair, while Ao Lan addressed the audience in a language no one but Suprio understood. The onlookers began to chant. Some of this Daniel did understand, although his head was struggling to stay alert, his brain refusing to connect thoughts to reality. He heard the words Fire Spirit, protection, honour, and proof. And the word sacrifice.

 

Then stepping forward, he took a deep breath, said a small prayer to whatever Earthly gods might be listening, and forced himself to step onto the burning grasses.

 

Oh Christ.

 

The fire flared up, along his legs and up his arms as the flame came in contact with his fingertips, and the crowd roared. He was on fire.

 

"Daniel!" SG-1 saw him hesitate, saw the terror in his eyes. He had to get out, now. "Daniel! Here!"

 

Somewhere above the screaming frenzy of the crowd, Daniel heard his name in a haze of fear. God. He was on fire. But he didn't feel it, yet. He had to move, or he would…

 

Daniel stretched his arms outwards, frightening fiery torches, as he dashed from the fire, a burning tribute to trust and honour.

 

The crowd was alarmed, terrified at the sight. So were Daniel's teammates. Even knowing this was what they'd expected to happen, they were horrified at the sight before them. Christ, Carter, Jack thought, the flames drawing his vision to the shock in Daniel's eyes, you'd better know what the hell you're talking about. And Daniel had better come through this without a scratch.

 

Daniel lingered for just a moment, the fire extinguishing itself as he waved his arms at the frightened crowd… and then his friends were upon him, quickly patting out the remaining flames with their jackets. The onlookers were screaming out, shrieking, scattering. The stranger could not be human, could he? This was the real, true Fire Spirit Son …and if he truly was unharmed, they would have their newest Protector.

 

But the Fire Spirit child was about to pass out.

 

"Daniel? You okay?"

 

"Daniel?"

 

He heard the concerned voices of his friends through the fog in his head, muffled by the ringing in his ears. He sunk to the ground, trembling, caught by someone's arms.

 

"Daniel Jackson, are you injured?"

 

Daniel wasn't ready to speak yet, but he shook his head. No, he was fine. Just …just wasn't ready to move, just yet. This was good, though. Comforting. He closed his eyes, trying to relax his strained nerves.

 

Suprio, Jadeo, and Ao Lan were there, then. "Is he alright?" they asked hesitantly. Their words were not understood by SG-1, but their motions indicated their confusion that Daniel had not completed the trial.

 

They all saw that his body had been undamaged. Not only was there no mark on him anywhere, he was cool to the touch. Glaring, Sam tried to make herself understood, tried to give a reason for Daniel's present weakened state. "Listening, message…Fire Spirit Einuaha." Suprio frowned, understanding the name. "Tell them, Daniel," she murmured in his ear.

 

Daniel weakly complied, trying unsuccessfully to crack open his eyes. Forcing the words out, his voice was barely above a whisper. "I'm receiving a message from Father Fire Spirit Einuaha… he wants this to be the very last fire ritual, Ao Lan….… he's giving you permission to rescue people from fires… and to learn to put out fires yourselves."

 

In surprise, Suprio turned to the crowd, shouting something that SG-1 couldn't understand. The crowd went wild. Then, as if on cue, they floated to the ground, chanting. And in that chant, SG-1 made out Daniel's name.

 

Slowly, Daniel's head began to clear, his trembling subsided as his body was wrapped in someone's jacket, someone's embrace, and he felt his lucidity and strength returning. Opening his eyes fully, he observed the concerned faces of Sam and Teal'c hovering beside him. He was leaning against Jack. "Am I okay?" he asked weakly.

 

"You're fine, Daniel," Sam soothed. "It's over. You did it. The children are safe now too."

 

Daniel nodded, trying to sit up. "I want to go home, Jack."

 

"Yeah. Me too." Jack helped his friend into a comfortable sitting position, rubbing his back comfortingly. Slowly Daniel rose to his feet, with the helping hands of his friends, and the crowd chanted louder. "Please," Daniel whispered to Suprio, "tell them to get up." Suprio commanded the crowd to rise.

 

Ao Lan was preparing to apply paint to Daniel's body. "Please allow Ao Lan to complete the ritual," Suprio requested of Daniel, motioning for him to remove the jacket from around his shoulders.

 

Fine. And then they would go home.

 

Thread-thin orange and yellow and red lines were drawn on Daniel's throat, wrists, and chest, right over the heart area. The paint stung, causing Daniel to wonder what the hell it was made with. He asked Suprio.

 

"Natural substances, from plants and fungi," was the reply.

 

The drawings reminded Daniel of the foreign reptiles of this world, just as he had seen represented on the great hovering mask of the Fire God.

 

His artwork now completed, Ao Lan pressed his hands along the drawings, chanting in a low voice. He then spoke to the crowd, while Suprio translated for all to hear. "Daniel Jackson, you have proven yourself to be our new Fire Spirit Son, son of Father Fire Spirit Einuaha. You will protect us from catastrophy, and from our natural and physical enemies. With courage and determination, fearless, without compassion for enemies to make you weak, you shall lead and guide us, helping us to survive and flourish." The crowd chanted.

 

"Is this the end of the fire rituals, Suprio? So no one else's children ever have to go through this?"

 

Suprio bowed his head slightly. "It is, Daniel, but only until your death, when Father Fire Spirit will need to choose another Son."

 

"Then let them believe I remain alive forever, Suprio, on another world," Daniel countered softly, still not fully recovered from the shock of his ordeal,"because I'm not staying here to be your Fire Spirit …Son. I'm just… a messenger. And I'm going home now, with my friends."

 

"You can go, Daniel. But you are our new Fire Spirit Son. We know this. Soon you will realize it too. You will be back." Suprio bowed. "Have a pleasant journey." He left SG-1, as the crowd began to dissipate. Ao Lan retreated, soon vanishing into the forest beyond.

 

"Nice tattoos," Jack teased, looking his friend deeply in the eye. "Personally, I prefer blues and greens to bright yellow, but since you're the Fire son of a …fire god, I guess that's appropriate."

 

"I'm not a fire god," Daniel retorted. "But I am cold. Where are my clothes?"

 

_____

 

The three day's walk back to the Stargate would be taking the team through the village, then through wooded areas, two marshes, and a swamp. By the time they had left the …ritual site and collected their belongings, it was early afternoon, and they were aiming to get as far from that place as possible before settling down for the night.

 

Childen and adults alike bowed and smiled as Daniel passed them, and Jack knew his teammate was feeling distinctly uncomfortable. "What's wrong, Daniel? You deserve whatever respect they want to give you, you know."

 

"I didn't perform any miracles, Jack. That was just …Sam's, um, magic trick. By the way, thanks, Sam."

 

"God, don't mention it, Daniel." She wrapped her arm around his waist, immensely relieved that he had pulled it off.

 

"That's not what I was referring to," Jack insisted. "You went through that to save the kids."

 

"I couldn't let them walk through fire, Jack." The thought of the children enduring that, before the watching eyes of a crowd, their parents looking on but doing nothing to help, chilled him. Suddenly, Daniel cried out, and clutching at his heart, he dropped to the ground.

 

"Daniel?" His teammates were kneeling by his side, but he only sensed them. His eyes were shut tight, shut to hold out the pain …fire was eating him inside, it was burning, singeing his veins, his nerves, from his wrists up through his chest, up to his neck, radiating around his heart… "God! Oh, god!" He cried out, grabbing for something to hold onto."Ahh!" Daniel groaned, crying, trying to block the searing pain eating through his body. Silent tears rolled down his cheeks, he could feel them, powerless to stop them. He was on fire.

 

"Daniel! Daniel! What's going on?" Jack was in a panic. Holding Daniel off the hard ground, he was cradling his writhing friend. Sam rubbed Daniel's right arm, holding onto his hand, while Teal'c did the same on the left. "Daniel, what the hell's happening?"

 

But Daniel was powerless to speak. Encompassed in the fiery grip of pain spreading through his insides, scalding his nerves, he could only hold on to the knowledge that there was no more fire …no more fire …no more… "Oh, God!" he screamed again, and Jack gripped him tighter, at a loss to know what else to do.

 

Abruptly, Jack felt Daniel's body relaxing, panting, the cries subsiding, calming. Calming. The tremors abated, and soon the tears had stopped as well.

 

"Geez, Daniel…what was that?"

 

"Oh god …Jack…God, it hurt. My insides were on fire."

 

Jack looked searchingly at Sam for answers.

 

"Don't look at me, Sir, I have no idea."

 

"Could they not have performed some magic to convince Daniel Jackson that he is indeed the fire god?" asked Teal'c.

 

"Voodoo? Hypnosis?"

 

"I don't believe I'm a fire god, Teal'c," Daniel stated, his breathing coming under control once more.

 

"Why would that belief hurt him, Teal'c? Their fire gods don't feel like they're on fire, do they?" That theory didn't make sense to Sam. "More likely it's his own memories and fears surfacing."

 

"Let's just get him home, asap," O'Neill commanded. "Are you up to walking, Daniel?"

 

"Oh …yeah. Let's get out of here."

 

Jack eyed Daniel carefully for the next few miles. He seemed to be okay. What the hell was that?

 

_____

 

"There's a nice dry place, we can clear it enough for a campsite. What do you think, kids? Home?" Jack was ready to set up, dark was on the horizon.

 

"Looks good, Jack." Jack glanced at Daniel, satisfied that he was doing okay. He really wanted his friend to get some decent sleep tonight.

 

Jack stayed close to Daniel as they cleared the tenting area of stones and branches. So far, so good. Although Jack wasn't so sure about himself; every time Daniel moved his arms he saw flaming torches…

 

"Daniel…I doubt there's a reason for any of the SG teams to come back here. There don't seem to be any useful minerals in the soil, and there's nothing here to help us against the Goa'uld." It's also an awfully long walk, he added silently.

 

Jack moved to lend a hand as Daniel struggled with a wayward tent pole.

 

"Daniel?"

 

"Huh?"

 

"You doing okay?"

 

"Yeah …I think so. Um … do you have that? Okay, let go, I've got it now. But I can't help feeling there's something here that we're missing, Jack."

 

"OW!"

 

The yelp was heard by Sam's teammates, Daniel throwing the pole aside as he quickly followed Jack. Teal'c was first at her side. "Major Carter. Are you alright?"

 

Sam held up a bloodied hand. "Just a cut," she muttered. "Be careful, these rocks must have something like obsidian in them. Hurts like hell."

 

Jack was next in line. "Ouch," he grimaced, watching the blood trail down into Sam's jacket cuff. Daniel came up behind Jack, peering over his shoulder.

 

"Sam? You okay? What happened?" As Daniel noticed the evil-looking wound, the pain loomed up inside him once more, coming on just as rapidly as it had the first time. "Ah!" he cried out, falling to his knees. "Ah… oh… oh no…" falling over, he was caught by Teal'c, before he could land on the sharp mossy rocks. "Oh god …" he cried in pain, in fear, he clutched at his burning throat, at his heart the fire the fire the fire was burning him, inside, he was on fire, this was hell, oh help him, god help him, Jack help me, oh god…

 

But his teammates were helpless to do anything but hold him while he struggled for breath, helpless to do anything but look at each other in vain, in panic, in desperation. What the hell was happening to him?

 

And then the pain subsided, and once again Daniel was catching his breath, wiping the sweat from his eyes, and the tears from his cheeks, and Jack took him from Teal'c, and held him. "Teal'c, take care of Carter's hand." He didn't know what else to say.

 

He waited until Daniel had opened his eyes. Held him until the trembling stopped.

 

Daniel, sniffling, was the first to speak, quietly. "What's happening to me, Jack?"

 

"Don't know, Danny."

 

"It hurt so badly. I was on fire."

 

"And there was nothing we could do for you. I'm sorry."

 

"I know. Jack?"

 

"What?"

 

"It hurt mostly around my neck and heart, down my arms to my wrists."

 

Jack thought about that. "Daniel…a connect the dots along where you were painted?"

 

"I think so."

 

Jack sat up straighter. "Fuck. Let's get that stuff off you!"

 

_____

 

But the tattoos wouldn't come off. Wouldn't even fade a little.

 

"The dye stung when he applied it. I asked what it was made with, Suprio said it was all natural."

 

"Oh he did, did he. How about we just get you home and determine that at the lab." No more trusting these people, as far as Jack was concerned. Or Suprio, anyway.

 

"It has to be a chemical, Daniel, causing that reaction in you." Sam was worried about Daniel.

 

"What triggers it, Sam?"

 

"I have no idea, Daniel."

 

"It started when I looked at your hand."

 

The image of Sam's cut hand caused him to shiver, and he felt it happening again …heat, quickly burning, flaring inside him… "NO!" he screamed. The fire raced through him, scalding, burning his heart…

 

"Daniel!" Jack's voice was drifting, remote, in some far-distant world… "Think of Apophis! Ugly, mean guy, gold ships, lots of writing on the walls …pyramids, hieroglyphics, think of MRE's, hey it's supper time…" Daniel's body began to relax, this time hadn't been quite as bad…

 

As Daniel settled down, Carter threw a glance over to O'Neill. "Colonel? What was that about, Sir?"

 

"Carter, Daniel had a reaction both times thinking of your hand. I was just trying to get his mind onto something else."

 

"Appohis?" Daniel mumbled.

 

Jack shrugged. "First thing that came to mind."

 

"So …what about the first time, then, Sir?"

 

"No idea, Carter. Daniel?"

 

"I was thinking about the children being forced to walk through fire." Oh no, shouldn't have said that …fire …fire he was on fire…

 

"Apophis…pyramids…steak at O'Malley's…you choose, Daniel! Think of something you don't care about. Do it, Daniel! Do it!"

 

Daniel calmed down, his heart rate quickly returning to normal, the pain and fire easily subsiding.

 

Jack let go of Daniel. He wanted answers.

 

"What was it you said about that fire god, Daniel…about compassion?"

 

"The fire god can't operate efficiently with compassion, so he doesn't have any."

 

"But you do."

 

"So every time I think of something I care about, I hurt?"

 

Jack shrugged helplessly. It sure seemed that way.

 

"How could that occur, O'Neill?"

 

Jack shrugged again, looking at Sam.

 

"Well it's got to be something in that dye, Teal'c," Sam theorized again. "And it must react somehow with Daniel's emotions… maybe it's extremely sensitive to psychogalvanic skin responses? Electrical activity of the skin related to emotional states, tension, stress …that sort of thing."

 

"So we have to get it off him, somehow." Jack figured that was the first plan of action.

 

"How?" Daniel queried.

 

"Damn…back to ask the villagers?"

 

"They said we'd be back," Daniel sighed wearily. He was so not up to facing them again.

 

"They will not tell us how to remove these markings, O'Neill," Teal'c rationalized. "They believe they are necessary for Daniel Jackson to play the part of this Fire Spirit. And they revere the holy shaman, who was the one who put these markings upon Daniel Jackson in the first place."

 

"Yeah, well …we're not going back anyway. No way I'm giving them another go at keeping Daniel. We'll just have to figure this out at home."

 

"And in the meantime, Daniel Jackson, do not think of any more things that you might be concerned about."

 

God, Jack thought. Like that was under the man's control.

 

_____

 

One more day and they'd be home. Jack sat down beside Daniel, watching him pick at his food. "Don't like my cooking?"

 

"MRE's, Jack. Meals Ready to Eat. I don't actually call this cooking…"

 

No, Daniel wasn't okay. He was too serious.

 

"I saw you fighting it today, Daniel. A lot more times than I have fingers for."

 

Daniel put his dish on the ground. "God, Jack. I can't keep doing this."

 

"Doing what?" Jack's voice was soft. Patient. He knew what Daniel meant, but he wanted his friend to talk. Four times this morning he'd gone down, briefly, in excruciating pain, before getting the reaction under control by commandeering his thoughts. Later, Daniel had managed to keep control even while on his feet, walking, yet the preliminary pain had been evident in his face and body language for several moments.

 

"This." He motioned to his body in frustration. "I don't know why this is happening. What's it for?"

 

"Well …think about it, Daniel. They want you to be, or serve, the Fire God, right? Let's go over what you know about it."

 

Daniel sighed, feeling utterly despondent."It's a guardian, so it needs to have courage."

 

"Which they know you already have." Jack narrowed his eyes. He'd already figured this part out.

 

"But they don't want their fire spirits to feel things …to have compassion. It gets in their way of dealing with enemies, of making difficult choices… Okay, I understand that, sort of. But how's this going to make me not feel things?" Daniel was struggling to make sense of his ordeal. He needed control, which he was slowly, way too slowly, gaining.

 

"It's conditioning you, Daniel. When you empathize with someone, you feel the fire. In order not to feel the pain, you suppress the emotion. Change your thoughts to something neutral. Simple pyschology, my friend."

 

"So …soon, I'll choose not to feel any empathy with anyone, in order to keep the pain at bay." Daniel sighed again. "I don't want that to happen, Jack."

 

"Neither do I, Danny." Jack couldn't imagine Daniel without his gentle, comforting nature. His warm and giving temperament. This was the backbone of his friend's essence. Daniel's soul would be gone. This must be killing him, forcing himself not to care about anything, not to think about anything he cared about. "We'll get home, and find a way to get that stuff off you."

 

"Yeah."

 

Jack patted Daniel's hand. "We will." And that was a f. …lipping promise.

 

_____

 

"I'm sorry, there's absolutely nothing that seems to be working."

 

Daniel sat, frozen to the chair. He'd known it all along, was expecting it, through all the tests, yet it was the last thing he actually wanted to hear.

 

"Aw. Come on, Janet," Jack intoned. "What else have you forgotten to try?"

 

"Colonel…I'm sorry." She wasn't going to lose her patience with him, she wanted just as badly to get that dye off Daniel. "I've tried everything short of plastic surgery. We can't even figure out what the chemical is that's instigating his reactions. Or what could possibly be in that dye to cause such a severe sensory reaction within his pain centres. Daniel said it was made partly with fungi; there might be a hallucinogenic drug involved. There's nothing actually physical happening inside Daniel's body."

 

Well. No evident internal damage was good news, at least.

 

"Daniel, I suppose you've realized we want you to stay on base. I'm sure General Hammond will let you take one of the VIP rooms," Janet continued.

 

"Yeah." Dejectedly, Daniel sauntered out the door, the rest of SG-1 behind him. He had really been hoping this stuff could come off.

 

"Daniel Jackson, do you feel the need for company tonight?"

 

"No, that's okay, Teal'c. I'll be fine."

 

"Daniel," Sam said, "If you need anything, any time of night, it's okay, you know…"

 

Daniel smiled. "I'll be fine, Sam. Thanks. See you in the morning."

 

"Goodnight, Daniel." Sam hesitated. "But if you need anything…"

 

Daniel touched her arm. "I know."

 

"Okay."

 

Jack and Daniel watched as Sam strode off.

 

"'Night, Jack."

 

"I seem to be headed your way, Daniel."

 

"Oh?" Daniel raised an eyebrow. "And where would that be?"

 

"You tell me."

 

"Jack…"

 

"Daniel…? Just until you go to sleep. Do you really want to go through one of those reactions alone?"

 

"Do you really want to babysit me while I do?"

 

"Yes…?"

 

"Oh."

 

"And it's not babysitting, Daniel, even though you are a couple years younger than me …we'll just play a bit of chess, a game of Monopoly, some Scrabble…"

 

"Anything that will be a non-effort in empathy, right?"

 

"See, you catch on quick."

 

_____

 

"Daniel?" Jack rushed over to his friend. He'd only come to accompany him to lunch…

 

Daniel had his head down on his desk, arms clenched across his head, shaking violently. Jack grabbed his shoulders, massaging. There was nothing he could do, nothing Janet could do but sedate him, and Daniel had asked for that not to happen. It had been three days since they'd returned home, and Daniel was trying desperately to get his situation under control.

 

Now, as the quiet tears subsided and Daniel's grip loosened around himself, his hands dropping weakly onto the book-filled table, his awareness noticed the friend still gripping his shoulders behind him.

 

His sigh was barely audible. "God, Jack…help me."

 

But Jack had no idea how.

 

_____

 

Daniel had been getting pretty good over the past few days at keeping his emotions in check. He'd had a few bad reactions while watching the 11:00 news, and once during a sad movie in the VIP room with the rest of SG-1, but for the past two days, he'd been able to stop himself from reacting to his feelings. From becoming concerned over people. From caring, damn it. He didn't think of Sam's hand, didn't think of the fires he had walked into. Didn't think of the children. He didn't think of Shar'e, his parents, his life. He didn't think of Hathor, Osiris, Apophis. And he sure as hell didn't think of Sam, Jack, and Teal'c. And while he was thrilled that the fiery pain was under control, he was devastated and afraid. He didn't want to live like this. He wanted to care.

 

_____

 

Jack lay in his bed, wide awake, even though it was almost 2 am. He'd slept for …oh… at least a half hour already. But worries kept jolting him awake, back to reality. He couldn't stop thinking about Daniel. It had been over a week, and nothing had changed except Daniel's increased ability to control his feelings. The tattoos were nailed down tight.

 

Today… well, yesterday, technically… when SG-5 had come back through the gate, all banged up from that vehicle accident on P9G 114, Daniel had just walked away, barely noticing. He hadn't even gone down to the infirmary. Hadn't even asked about them all day. Jack knew internally what was going on, and he knew rationally that Daniel had no choice. But geez. That wasn't Daniel. It was scary.

 

What would this mean, if Daniel had to live forever with those damn tattoos? If they couldn't find out what chemicals or drugs were doing this to him, or how they worked? What would that mean?

 

Visions of missions flooded Jack's sleepless thoughts… Daniel never giving up on finding his two lost teammates, in a frozen ice cave that wasn't even on another world. He and Sam had been given up for dead by everyone else, and in fact would've been dead, in another day, if it hadn't been for Daniel…Then, Daniel persisting in finding a way for both the Enkarans and the Gad-meer to live. He'd been so passionate about that, it made Jack cringe just remembering. And because of it, against incredible odds, the man had succeeded… God, if Daniel hadn't cared about them all so much, they would've died in that mine, digging Naquada for Shyla's invisible Goa'uld nuisances. And in light of, or in spite of, Jack's temporary infatuation with advanced technology, Daniel had been the one to realize the Eurondans weren't what they appeared. He had cared about a race in a war he knew nothing about. That was Daniel's intrinsic nature. Or it had been. Okay, Jack had often condemned Daniel for his flakiness, for putting his heart before his head. But now, Jack had to admit that his team needed that. He'd give anything and everything to have things - his team and Daniel - back to normal.

 

If Daniel had to keep up this moronic behaviour of compassionless frigidity, they would lose him forever. Both as an untrustworthy teammate, and as a human being. Daniel would lose himself. And to make matters worse, Jack knew Daniel despised what he was going through, what he was becoming. He hated himself this way. But the man couldn't even dwell on that, without hurtful thoughts entering his mind and his body reverting to the pain of intense internal fire. So he knew that Daniel no longer thought about what he was being forced to go through. He had accepted his fate, and that in itself worried Jack. But he knew very well that Daniel had absolutely no choice.

 

Daniel was becoming just what the Uba Karians had wanted him to be. Only it was all in vain. He was never going to be their protector, their guardian; Jack would be damned if he was going to let Daniel go back there, for any reason. Unless he thought they would help. But he knew they wouldn't.

 

These thoughts kept Jack tossing and turning, as they had for days. He couldn't even discuss this with Daniel, for Daniel would turn away. He could no longer talk to Daniel, no longer talk about anything important. He couldn't get Daniel feeling things. He was losing his friend.

 

Somewhere around 4:30 am., he finally fell asleep.

 

_____

 

Daniel finally thought he had gained enough control to survive.

 

Tentatively, apprehensively, he had trained himself on the national news, twice a day, and had then rented all the sad movies he could find listed on the internet. The big test, though, had come when he had gathered up the courage to walk through the USAF hospital's burn ward. He'd kept control, allowing himself - forcing himself - to feel nothing. And now, it seemed, the painted designs around his heart were starting to fade.

 

He'd noticed in the shower that morning. The yellows were pale, the bright orange had turned to coral. Daniel's wrists remained just as brightly decorated as before, but he no longer worried about them. To survive, he couldn't think about it.

 

As he sat under his lamp in his workroom, Daniel realized SG-1 was due back today. About an hour ago, actually. Now, after over two weeks, he could finally tell Jack that everything was under control. Maybe Hammond would put him back on field duty. Or …maybe he could go ask Hammond himself, now.

 

He found General Hammond in the briefing room, staring out the wall-sized window down at the Stargate. Hammond turned when Daniel entered.

 

"It's been less than two hours, son," the general opened with. "We'll wait just a little longer."

 

"What?" Daniel questioned, confused.

 

"Before I send a search team," Hammond clarified. "They haven't answered our radio communications."

 

"Oh … uh, right. Okay. Well, General, Sir, I was thinking I could rejoin SG-1 on their next mission, Sir. I'm pretty sure I have my, um, episodes under control, and can keep them from happening again."

 

Hammond studied the young man before him. "I'll take this up with Dr. Fraiser and Colonel O'Neill, Dr. Jackson. When SG-1 gets back."

 

"Thank you , General." As Daniel turned to leave, he added, "Let me know when they get back."

 

Hammond stared at Daniel's retreating figure, watched him disappear from view. And then he kept on staring. This wasn't Daniel. The general had no doubt that Daniel had been telling the truth. He was in complete control of his emotions, keeping them buried somewhere below the surface. If he had needed proof with which to go to Janet Fraiser, he certainly had it. The man had shown no concern for his teammates. But was that a responsible person to put back on a team? Not likely.

 

Hammond turned back to the window, giving SG-1 about twenty more minutes before some action would be taken.

 

_____

 

SG-1 arrived through the wormhole ten minutes later, Teal'c supporting a hobbling Jack.

 

General Hammond met them at the end of the ramp, finally allowing himself a breath of relief. "Colonel?" was the only word he uttered, gazing at the bloody bandage on Jack's leg.

 

"Not as bad as it looks, Sir. Shark attack."

 

"Shark?" The general looked up in alarm. SG-1 was not …wet.

 

"The colonel took a while to stop staring at it and run," Major Carter grimaced, remembering.

 

"How was I to know their sharks are amphibious?" O'Neill scowled. "That thing had feet."

 

"I was able to zat it before it caused greater damage," Teal'c offered. "We are sorry we are late, General. The circumstances were unavoidable."

 

"Yes …well, get yourselves to the infirmary. We'll debrief in two hours."

 

_____

 

A head poked into the doorway of Daniel's workroom. "Dr. Jackson?"

 

"Yes, Lieutenant?"

 

"General Hammond asked me to tell you that SG-1 is back. They're in the infirmary. Colonel O'Neill was attacked by a …um, shark, hurt his leg up a bit."

 

"Thanks, Lieutenant. I'll check in on him later."

 

"Yes Sir. Good day, Sir."

 

Daniel figured the debriefing would be sometime in the afternoon, after which he could talk to Jack about getting reinstated on the team. He decided three hours would just about do it, and continued on with his research.

 

______

 

Daniel's tattoos had completely faded. Once the first ones had started to disappear, the others had quickly followed, until there was but a very faint trace left on his skin. One would only have known they were there at all, if one looked closely. Daniel had not had a painful attack in three weeks.

 

On the other hand, Daniel had been distant and cold for at least that long, as well.

 

It pained Jack greatly to issue his next words, but he knew he had no choice, not if he wanted to continue to do the best job for his team and the SGC. And facts were facts, undeniably.

 

"No, Sir. I don't want Daniel on the team."

 

There. He had betrayed his best friend. Out and done with. The worry of this had kept him up nights far longer than suited him, but the decision had been made, and it was the best one, at least, for all but Daniel. But what made it worse, was that this wasn't even Daniel's fault. His friend had done the only thing possible to preserve his health, his sanity, his existence. But in the process, Daniel had lost his essence. His soul. He wasn't even fun to be around any more. He was faceless, emotionless, disturbingly uncaring and apathetic. He wasn't Daniel. He wasn't the friend Jack had known for four years.

 

And Jack wasn't the friend Daniel had known. How could he be, when he'd let this happen? He'd done all he could think of, but it wasn't nearly good enough. He'd let Daniel down dearly.

 

The silence in Hammond's office was thick, a lingering tumor growing worse with each thought from each person present. Dr. Fraiser had informed them of the latest test results; if a chemical was present in Daniel's body, it had remained undetected. More likely it had been absorbed by his skin or even into the brain itself, but there was nothing showing up in any of the blood tests. "Many chemicals can be detected only when you know what to look for," she had stated. "And in this case, we have absolutely no idea. It's definitely alien, as we know from Dr. Jackson's earlier sensory reactions. I've never seen anything like it before."

 

Sam was tapping her pencil on the table, absorbed in her own thoughts. Losing Daniel had been her nightmare over the past four weeks, but she had known it was inevitable, things going the way they had been. They had all been at a loss to come up with any real answers. "If his tattoos are gone, Janet, then why is he still so indifferent? I mean, we tried and tried to wash that stuff off him, and now that it's gone, shouldn't he be back to normal?"

 

"Unless the chemical has been absorbed internally, Sam," Dr. Fraiser explained. "And is still working."

 

Sam frowned. She didn't want to hear this. "In which case, the Fire Spirit training has been completed, and this is Daniel's … permanent situation." This was so not what Sam had wanted to say.

 

"Isn't it possible," Jack interrupted hopefully, "that Daniel is just afraid to let his emotions out again? I mean, it's been several weeks, we don't even know if he'd have a reaction any more. This could all be psychological."

 

"That's a possibility," Janet admitted.

 

"So how do we find out?" General Hammond searched the faces of all present. They all wanted Daniel Jackson back, both professionally and personally. He knew the colonel and his team would go to the ends of the Earth if they had to, another galaxy for sure, in search of any small particle of hope. So far, there had been no options, but up until now, all they'd been trying to do was find out how to get rid of the markings on Daniel's upper body. Now, they were looking for something else entirely. "Because we don't have much time. The NID are requesting Dr. Jackson's 'presence' now that he seems to have the chemical changes permanently within him. They have some tests they want to …administer." He looked grimly at the horrified faces around him. "If he's free of the drug, we need to find out soon, very soon."

 

"And if he isn't? We're still going to loan him out as a lab rat?" Jack couldn't believe what he had just heard. Well, he could believe it, he just couldn't deal with it.

 

"No options, Colonel." Hammond said.

 

"We still need him here, General," Jack countered angrily. "Daniel's still the best we've got when it comes to interpreting alien languages. Even if he's not reliable for field duty."

 

"I'm aware of that, Colonel, and that fact won't be ignored. The NID have agreed to release him as soon as they're done."

 

"Oh that sounds so promising," Jack scowled in disgust.

 

Sam's concern and dismay were evidenced in the grimace darkening her own features."So we have to find out for certain if Daniel is still in charge of his own feelings or if the drugs have taken control of him now," she summarized.

 

"We shall need a severe situation in order to determine this so quickly," Teal'c suggested.

 

"A set-up?" Jack's thoughts were spinning. "Onworld, or offworld?"

 

"Preferably here at home," General Hammond advised. "It's safer, more controllable."

 

"Daniel will hate us, Sirs." Sam's brows were lowered in dismay. This didn't sit well with her. Daniel was their friend. More or less.

 

"Choiceless," Jack responded quietly. "Entirely choiceless."

 

_____

 

General Hammond had offered his lakeside cottage in Nebraska, closer to Colorado than Jack's cabin in Minnesota, and with better fishing, apparently. They had worried that Daniel might not want to come, but he'd seemed more than pleased to be out with his friends again, even if it was just for a regular two-day weekend.

 

The phone rang as Daniel and Sam were preparing the sandwiches. Things seemed almost normal, Jack thought, watching them. Some teasing, more laughter. Most of Daniel was still intact. If not for having to be careful of the topics of conversation, he never would have realized anything was even wrong. No outsider would think Daniel was anything but "normal". But then, start on a topic that most people would call "deep" ... the kind that Jack so often avoided with sarcasm and flippant humour and that now he was berating Danny for avoiding, call that double standard if you would, but it so fit Daniel better than it did him ... and Daniel would space out, change the subject, make his own disinterested remark and leave the room. Avoiding the issue to save his sanity, yeah, yeah, but it left one wondering, where was Daniel? The Daniel of the bleeding heart variety, the sensitive, tender, passionate, exciteable archeaologist who hated the rigid inflexible military mindset? Jack so badly wanted his Daniel back that he was willing to do anything.

 

Even this.

 

"O'Neill here," he answered on the third ring.

 

"Who is this?" his expression turned grim, glancing at Carter, at Daniel, seeing them watching and turning his back away. Moments later he hung up the receiver, standing on the spot for a moment too long, his back to his friends.

 

"Colonel?" Sam had caught the bewilderment in his eyes.

 

"Uh …nothing." Jack responded. He turned around slowly, almost catching a look of concern on Daniel's face. Too fleeting to tell.

 

"Was that call important, O'Neill?" Teal'c had come in from preparing towels in the bathroom.

 

"Uh …I can't really say." He looked up at Carter and Teal'c, concerned frowns clouding their faces. "That call was from someone who says he's a friend of Lawrence Simon …remember him?"

 

"That name sounds familiar," Daniel said. "One of those guys who worked for Maybourne until you busted the group? He's in prison."

 

Jack nodded. "Said we'll be getting together later today, then he hung up."

 

Carter wiped her hands on the dish towel, and moved closer to Jack. "Sir, …I might be paranoid here, but did that sound like a threat?"

 

"Well it didn't sound like an invitation to a golf game, Carter. I've never met this man."

 

"How did he know your location, O'Neill? We have only just arrived."

 

"Good question, Teal'c." Jack frowned as Daniel grabbed half a sandwich, heading towards the back door that led to the garden.

 

"Well, while you guys are pondering that," Daniel said nonchalantly, "I'll be out back doing a bit of reading. Sam, come get me later when you're ready for that hike."

 

Jack stood, speechless, while Carter and Teal'c met his worried gaze.

 

_____

 

Hiking in the woods was something the team seemed to do all the time offworld, but Sam and Daniel never seemed to tire of it. This felt natural to her, once again, having Daniel by her side, a place he hadn't been for over a month now …ever since the Uba Karians had chosen him as their Fire Spirit Son. Here, they could just chat naturally, talk about the flora and fauna, the …um… weather …and …not much, really, Sam thought wearily as they neared the end of the round-trip trail. Nothing of importance. Every time the topic had turned to hopes, plans for the future, or past missions and things that had gone wrong, Daniel started to become wistful, and had changed the subject. In other words, he had theoretically and spiritually run away. Sam had to know what was going on in his mind, she couldn't stand to see him this way, so …so shallow, nonchalant, hurting.

 

"Daniel…"

 

"Yeah, Sam?"

 

"Why do you do that?"

 

He turned to her, sincerely confused. "What?"

 

"Change the subject every time something important comes up."

 

"I don't."

 

"You do, Daniel. I can't talk to you any more."

 

Daniel remained silent.

 

"Do you feel it hurting you? Is the fire still inside, Daniel?"

 

Daniel kept on walking, eyes focussing on the ground.

 

"Daniel," Sam stopped, reaching out to grasp his arm, successfully stopping him from moving further. "Please talk to me about this. What's going on inside you?"

 

"Sam…" He turned, facing her. "Sam. I don't know if the fire is still there. What I do know is how to keep it from surfacing. That's what I've learnt to do lately, right?"

 

"But the markings are gone, Daniel. How do you know you'd still hurt if you stopped trying to avoid painful memories and feelings?"

 

"I'm too used to trying now, Sam. It's easy. Natural. I'm used to it." He turned and continued walking, as Sam jogged up to his side.

 

"Try, Daniel. Just to see. Try to focus on something you're concerned about. Something you love."

 

"There's nothing, Sam. I have no worries these days, no cares. Feels good."

 

"Does it?"

 

Daniel didn't answer.

 

"Does it feel good knowing you don't have to worry about us any more, Daniel? That if we die on a mission, you won't have to care? That we can't trust you on a mission, in case you don't care enough about us to want to help us out if something goes wrong?"

 

"Stop it, Sam!" Daniel was feeling unnerved, now, and he didn't want to listen to this, didn't want to think about it. Didn't want the pain to start again, the fire burning his insides, his heart…he ran the last few dozen metres to the path that led to the cottage, bending down to peer at something as he finally reached the walkway.

 

Sam caught up. "What is it, Daniel?"

 

"Um …that look like blood to you?" Daniel was touching it now, it was still wet, and very red.

 

They stood up, cautiously looking around. "Daniel…" Sam was pointing to bloodied areas of grass, leading out to double tire tracks.

 

Sam sprinted quietly up to the door of the small country house, pausing as she touched the doorknob. "Colonel?" she called out. Daniel was by her side, his face impassive.

 

She slowly turned the knob, and swung the door open.

 

Following Sam into the living room, they abruptly stopped at the sight. Blood was splattered everywhere, drops radiating out from two huge pools coagulating and being absorbed into the area rug. So much blood. No one could live after losing all that...

 

On one wall, smeared with blood, were the symbols SG1: 4 - 2.

 

"Oh god." Sam moved towards the kitchen. "Colonel? Teal'c?" she called out.

 

"Don't, Sam! They might still be here…whoever did this."

 

Sam ignored him, moving to the back of the house where the bedrooms and bathroom were situated. Daniel followed, not wanting Sam to encounter anything,or anyone, alone. "They're not here, Daniel. We saw the tire tracks. Whoever did this, is long gone." Carter looked at him with panic in her eyes.

 

"We should call the local authorities, Sam. And get the hell out of here."

 

"No. If this is that friend of that Simon guy, it's classified material. We can't involve the police. Call the SGC. We'll have them come and test for fingerprints and do blood samples." Sam's eyes were filled with terror, as Daniel put his arms around her, holding her. She had no idea what his impassive features were hiding.

 

Daniel made the call to General Hammond.

 

They sat and waited. Sam sat on the sofa, staring at nothing. She was aware that Daniel had that blank, distant look on his face, a look she had seen only once before, when Jack had been invaded by a Goa'uld, and it had not seemed to register on Daniel then, either. Could he really be feeling nothing now?

 

They waited until the teams arrived, a state away.

 

They waited while SGC personnel combed the grounds and vicinity.

 

They waited for samples to be taken and tests to be made.

 

Sam moved closer to Daniel, her heart aching. She took his hand in hers, and they waited some more. Through it all, Daniel uttered not a word, and his eyes were so still…

 

Daniel stared into the empty space which led to the adjoining room. He thought of the work on his desk back at the SGC, no gory message on his wall… thought of the connection between P3V 585 and Mesopotamia; he focussed on his grocery order and the growing list of books he'd been meaning to buy, when he had the time, no blood on the floor; he concentrated on Cassie and her dog and the first time they'd met her ...no, not that ... on his first time meeting Sam ...stop, not that either ... on the bad food at the commissary, on the last tv commercial he'd seen, on trying to describe tv commercials to Sha're - no don't go there, don't go there, what about the first dig he'd ever been on, yes, no blood there, he was there with Sarah - no, no, he needed a new pair of boots, his closet at home, yes, he could rearrange his furniture too, have more room for that extra bookshelf he'd been meaning to buy, so if he moved the piano closer to the door...

 

The phone was ringing.

 

"Lieutenant Baker here.…Thank you. Yes ….thank you." Baker turned to all those in the room. "That was the lab. The tests were positive. The blood belongs to O'Neill and Teal'c."

 

It hit him. Daniel couldn't hold it any more. Couldn't do this. His eyes welled, the tears overflowing. Rising abruptly, he bolted to the bathroom and slammed the door. Leaning over the toilet, he threw up.

 

Flushing the water away and washing his face, Daniel leaned against the bathroom wall, sinking to the floor, sobbing. Head in his hands, he sat there, his entire body trembling, coming to grips with the horror around him. Jack, Teal'c…they couldn't be dead. They couldn't be alive, either, with all that blood loss. It was impossible for Jack to have survived that. Teal'c, unlikely even with his symbiote. Daniel sobbed harder, for his friends, for his loss. Releasing all the strain he'd kept inside for a month. For all the weeks of living in limbo, of existing aimlessly, of the terror of becoming someone's Fire God when all he wanted to be was himself. He hadn't been able to talk to anyone about it, hadn't understood what was happening himself. He'd shut everyone out, he'd had to. But now …now, he couldn't do it any longer. This, he couldn't cope with. He wrapped his arms around his knees, tightening his fingers around his jeans, and sobbed.

 

"Daniel?" Sam knocked.

 

Sam. She was going through this too, she'd need him now more than ever. Oh god, Sam, I don't mean to lock you out, to keep you away from me. Not you. Thank god at least Sam had been with him, at least she was alive. He turned the knob from where he sat, and the door gently rolled open.

 

"Daniel." Sam crouched next to him. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." Her eyes couldn't hold the tears in, and they silently slid along her cheeks. She moved in closer, holding Daniel as he wept tears of fear, tears of pain for a best friend who had been taken from him as he had been strolling unknowingly through the woods. Tears of loss for two friends he cared deeply about.

 

Cared about. Daniel was crying, but he wasn't suffering. The fire inside him hadn't returned. Daniel was free.

 

Free, and the cost of finding out was more agonizing than the internal pain itself.

 

"I'm so sorry," she repeated, still holding him, choking on her own tears. But these were tears for Daniel, for what they had had to do to him to get him back. "I'm so sorry."

 

"Daniel." The name was said with such gentleness and sorrow, by a voice that knew it had been the one to cause such heartache to its owner's closest friend. Jack placed his hand on Daniel's head, caressing his hair with his thumb.

 

Daniel looked up, not understanding, but that voice …was the only one in the entire world he wanted to hear at that moment. "Jack?" he mumbled through stifled sobs. His eyes now wide, Sam moved away from him, and Daniel extended a hand out to O'Neill, who knelt by his side. He touched Jack's face, eyes locking…then grasped his friend in a tight embrace, Teal'c watching mutely from the doorway. "God. Jack. I …I don't understand." That wasn't… wasn't that… Jack's blood?

 

"I'm sorry, Daniel. God, I'm sorry. This was the only way we could think of to determine if you were…you."

 

Daniel's sobs softened, and he lightened his grasp around Jack's neck, very slightly. "A …a set-up?" Maybe it was, but just then, he didn't think he cared. Maybe later, but …but… not now. Now, he could only get his mind around the fact that Jack and Teal'c weren't dead.

 

Jack closed his eyes, for a moment. "I'm sorry, Danny. Nothing else was working. We had to know if this was your conditioning, or drugs, Daniel. We had to get you back before the NID took you away from us."

 

As Jack sensed Daniel's body relaxing, he figured one more insight was in order, but only one. It had been a hard day. "Daniel…it's over. You didn't have a reaction."

 

Daniel released Jack, and their eyes met and held once more. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Sam and Teal'c had retreated, but not far. They were waiting in the hallway, keeping patient eyes on their two teammates."You went to a lot of trouble for me," Daniel whispered.

 

"Yeah."

 

"The blood?"

 

"From the lab. By the way, it's going to be donor time at the SGC next week."

 

"Hammond won't like what you did to that rug."

 

"Not his. It was brought in for today, Hammond's suggestion. We got it at a flea market."

 

Daniel's eyes widened, realizing how many people were in on this, this…. "This was horrible, Jack," he said softly.

 

Jack leaned back against the wall, shoulder to shoulder with his teammate and best friend. "I know, Daniel. Believe me." Unvoiced among them all had been the very real fear that Daniel might have a drug-induced reaction to this emotionally-devastating incident, much worse than the other times, thus making it completely unbearable for him. Yet it had been a chance they'd all been willing to take. They'd gambled with Daniel's sanity, and had won.

 

"I'm really sorry, Daniel. But it couldn't have been good for you all month, keeping your distance, apathetic to everything that meant anything to you. We were worried there for a while that you'd really shut down." Especially today, he added silently.

 

Daniel sighed, lost in thought. "No. It was hell. I guess I should thank you."

 

"You're welcome."

 

"Was I really off the team?"

 

"What do you think?"

 

Daniel sighed again. "Yeah. I wouldn't have trusted me either."

 

Jack squeezed Daniel's hand. "That's why we went to all this trouble, Daniel. No way in hell I'm letting you off the team so easily."

 

Daniel nearly chuckled. "Thank you." His eyes softened to a steady wistfulness. He felt almost like himself again, and the deep, penetrating fear that had been tugging at him for the past month was gone, completely. "I think I hate you for this, but thank you."

 

_____

 

"I really am sorry."

 

Jack was in the doorway again, watching Daniel working under that way too dim light. His expression was apologetic for the tenth time; Jack knew that stunt had been unethical and cruel.

 

"Jack, I understand."

 

"It would've taken weeks to de-condition you properly, had you even agreed to do it, and in the meantime the NID would've had you in for study."

 

Daniel cringed at the thought.

 

"But I'm back on the team, Jack. So I guess we're even."

 

"Oh yeah …that's why I'm here, by the way. Our next mission is at 0800 day after tomorrow."

 

Daniel smiled. "Perfect."

 

"Don't you even want to know where we're going?"

 

"Doesn't matter. I'm happy to go anywhere."

 

"Swampy kind of place. Lots of mosquitos, spiders. That sort of thing."

 

"Um …okay."

 

"100% humidity, 120 degrees in the shade."

 

"…okay…?"

 

"Saw some large mammals on the video report, their teeth weren't too much larger than my fingers, though."

 

"You're being cruel again, Jack….You are kidding, aren't you?"

 

"Couldn't see too much through that downpour though, and it hasn't stopped raining yet in the past 32 hours…"

 

"JACK!"

 

Jack couldn't hide his grin, and neither could Daniel. "Glad to have you back, Daniel. In more ways than one."

 

"The feeling's mutual, Jack. Trust me on that."

 

"With my life, Daniel. By the way, we're all going out to dinner now. You're buying. For putting us through a month of hell."

 

"Jack!"

 

"Okay, okay, I'm buying. Oy. That's what I get for arguing with a linguist." And for having a linguist to argue with, he thought contentedly, grabbing Daniel's jacket and beckoning out the door. "Don't you even want to know where we're going?"

 

_____§ §_____

 

They did go out that night, another memory that would remain in place for a lifetime, if he was lucky. He'd thought about the fragility of their lives, that night on his way home, and he'd thought about friendship. Jack knew he'd lost a lot of people along the route his life had taken. Comrades, acquaintances, friends. All whose bonds he might have cherished just that little bit more, had he known their fates. But now, all he could do was make sure that he never took the members of his present team for granted, for they really weren't immortal, were they.

---

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