DEAD END

Bryce 5

by Travelling One

 

EMAIL: travelling_one@yahoo.ca

WEB: http://www.travelling-one.com

RELATED EPISODES: Solitudes, Crystal Skull, Thor's Hammer, 48 Hours, Summit

SUMMARY: When the case is closed on Daniel's missing teammates, he's determined to do anything necessary to find them.

CATEGORY: Drama, adventure, h/c, angst, smarm

DISCLAIMER: The theme and main characters have been borrowed from the Stargate SG-1 tv series, and are copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. This story has been written for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended.

12/14/02

 

 

---

 

The alarm clock's green-lit numbers showed 3:26 am, as Daniel tried once again to close his eyes and get some sleep. Tossing and turning for yet another night, he was nearing the end of his patience, losing the battle with sleepless fatigue. His concentration had been lacking of late, but his meager attempt at quelling his anxieties with sedatives had been short-lived. He'd awakened feeling disoriented and groggy, and that he could do without.

 

Turning over once more, he again read the numbers on the clock… 3:28 am. How much longer could this go on?

 

Much longer, actually. He'd been asking himself the same question for the past three weeks every night that sleep would not claim him, or for just a few sporadic hours at a time. But he knew sleeplessness wasn't its own problem; his anxieties and worries were getting the better of him. For weeks now, he'd dreaded walking through that Stargate. He'd hated waking up in the morning, and even the approaching sight of Cheyenne Mountain served to send waves of anxiety through the pit of his stomach. The fears and dread were unfounded, he knew, although the ever-present sentence of Goa'uld infestation or staff wound injuries hung over their heads like a black cloud each time they stepped onto an unknown world.

 

Daniel thought back to previous missions, missions in which he'd stepped like a blind fool into the depths of terror. How could his team have gone to a moon modelled after hell itself, from which there was no known means of escape? How could he have ever thought of walking onto a Goa'uld space station, alone, dressed as a slave to the System Lord Yu, just a few weeks before? What had possessed him to even consider that idiocy, and why had those he called friends agreed to let him? Daniel shuddered now at the thought that one day, he might be called upon to do something like that again, and the idea now terrified him. Was he wising up, or becoming a coward as time went by? Was he going to soon become a hindrance to SG-1?

 

But in all honesty, Daniel didn't know if he wanted to continue on SG-1 any longer. He was an archaeologist for goodness' sake, a seeker of ancient history, and he wanted to stay alive.

 

Daniel turned over again and looked at the clock. 3:41. Would this night ever end? And if it did, then what? Another day at the SGC, watching teams come back maimed or dead, waiting for the call for his own team to go out once again and offer their bodies to whatever aliens might be waiting on the other side of the gate. Daniel didn't know if he could keep on doing this.

 

_____

 

"Hey. You okay?"

 

Daniel's dreary red eyes tried to look into those of his CO. But he didn't see his CO standing there; he saw the face of a friend, one who would be on that planet - any planet - when something terrible happened to them all. The eyes of a friend who had rescued him from nothingness in the beginning, and would be there 'til the end, or that's what he was afraid of. The End. Afraid for him. Looking into Jack's eyes, Daniel saw someone he could not bear to see injured, or worse still, dead.

 

"Yeah. Just tired."

 

"Couldn't sleep last night?"

 

Daniel's silence answered the question.

 

"What's up?"

 

"I have no idea, Jack. Well, some idea. I just have this horrible feeling that we're about to go on a mission that will kill us."

 

Jack stared. "Uh huh. I see."

 

"I've had this feeling for weeks now. It's been getting stronger."

 

"Weeks, Daniel? We're all still here."

 

"No, I know that, Jack. It's a mission that's coming. Something bad's going to happen, I can feel it."

 

"Daniel… we've been through bad. We'll deal with it."

 

No, telling Jack was a mistake. He wouldn't understand. "Nevermind."

 

"You're just tense, Daniel. Stressed. Is that summit thing still bothering you?" Daniel hadn't spoken of it much, but he'd been withdrawn since Yu….. the Tok'ra….

 

That summit thing. Daniel hesitated, knowing this was a useless question but needing the response. A month, and it was still eating away at him. "Why did you let me go, Jack?"

 

Jack stared. "You said yourself, Daniel. It was an important mission."

 

"When did I start training for Goa'uld black ops?" Daniel's blue gaze was intense.

 

Crap. When… is right. "When you joined SG-1," Jack offered softly.

 

"I thought we were a team. It hit me the minute I stepped onto that space station, how completely alone I was."

 

"You weren't alone; Jacob was with you."

 

"No he wasn't. He was safe on his cargo ship."

 

Jack had blocked the exact same sentiments from his mind at the time, for giving them voice would have done no one any good. It was a mission Daniel had had to go on and had willingly agreed to, or so he'd led them to believe. "You're right. And I'm sorry. No more missions alone, Daniel. I promise."

 

"You can't promise, Jack. Sometimes it's beyond your control." Daniel's voice was fading, his focus now off in the near past or forthcoming future. "You know Jacob thought they were going to kill the slaves after the summit."

 

"What?" no, Jack hadn't known; had they tiptoed around that issue in the briefings, pre and post? All he remembered was something about eating symbiotes, and even that had only stuck in his mind because it was so gross. Most of the ensuing talk had been about the fate of the Tok'ra, and that poor new recruit. "Damn. I didn't know, Daniel." Daniel had found that out, how? Alone on a System Lord space station, dressed as a flipping slave. Crap. "That must've freaked you out."

 

Daniel vaguely shook his head. "Doesn't matter. I just don't want to have to go through that again. And I don't want you guys to die on me out there."

 

"We try not to let that happen, looks bad on a resumé." Jack was well aware that Daniel wasn't smiling, not even a little bit. "We don't want you to die out there either, Daniel. And contrary to the popular belief in half this room right now, I hated you going on that mission. But I trusted Jacob; why, I can't tell you at the moment."

 

Daniel wasn't looking comforted yet, and Jack knew this went a lot deeper than he was giving Daniel credit for. "We're going to 225…… 255 I mean… tomorrow. You going to be okay?"

 

Daniel hesitated.

 

"Daniel? You want to sit this one out?"

 

Daniel shook his head. "No."

 

Jack looked at him uncertainly. "We need someone who's completely with us, Daniel. Don't turn this into a self-fulfilling prophecy by convincing yourself to screw up."

 

The younger man looked up sharply. "Whatever happens, Jack, I sure as hell won't screw up."

 

Jack smiled. "I know that. Just wanted to make sure you did."

 

_____

 

Daniel's nerves had very nearly ordered him to recant his declaration by the time they were geared up and standing by the Stargate ramp. Another sleepless night - no, not entirely sleepless; there had been one horrifying dream which he didn't completely remember save for the blast that blew his teammates apart - but that didn't really count as sleep at all. Why these anxieties were attacking him after five years of travelling through the gate, he didn't know… unless he was just getting wiser with experience and age, realizing that they weren't really immortal after all and that sometimes adventure could be foolhardy. All Daniel knew was that he really, really wanted to live - intact - and that he wanted his teammates to stay that way, as well.

 

"So General… want us to bring back anything? Seashells, wall hangings, t-shirts…"

 

"Just whatever technology you can, Colonel, would be fine. Along with yourselves in one piece," General Hammond added.

 

Jack had smiled at Daniel. "Sure you're up for this?" But the smile had ended at his lips, as he regarded Daniel warily.

 

"I'm fine, Jack," Daniel had lied.

 

As Jack motioned for the team to begin its newest adventure into the wild beyond, beginning with this trek towards the Stargate ramp, Daniel lagged behind, the wonder of gate travel seeming not so wonderful any more but causing some sort of dread to linger in his consciousness; a deep feeling that this job, this whole organization, was nothing short of lunatic.

 

"Seventh chevron… locked," came the disembodied voice, as the chevrons engaged and the Stargate spurted forth the tiniest puff of blue.

 

The teammates stared for a moment before Jack turned abruptly to Carter. "What was that?"

 

Carter stared wide-eyed at the normal event horizon. "I… I'm not sure, Sir."

 

"Not sure, Carter?"

 

"…I have no idea, Sir."

 

"General?" Jack bellowed up towards the control room. "Could you check the MALP readings for us, please?"

 

"Already working on it, Colonel."

 

The four teammates held their positions as they listened to the control room operators assure them that all was well. The MALP was sending back pictures from a calm and peaceful P4T 255.

 

Jack shrugged, and began his stroll up the ramp.

 

"Jack! Wait."

 

O'Neill turned slowly. "What, Daniel?"

 

"Let's shut it down and try again."

 

Jack studied his teammate's face, determination and concern eating away at the archaeologist's features. He considered the trepidation of his friend over the past little while, of his worries and warnings. "Shut it down, General, if you would. We want to try again. Just to make sure," he added. Every time they powered up the gate, he knew it cost the U.S government a whole hell of a lot of money. But taking senseless risks was even more costly, and he trusted Daniel's instincts.

 

The gate was shut down, and once again the chevrons were typed in and counted out.

 

The vortex popped open, the outward wave just a degree more forceful than the time before.

 

"MALP readings seem to be fine, Colonel. The wormhole is definitely connected to P4T 255."

 

"Carter… do you see any problem with this?"

 

Sam frowned. "I don't know why the intensity of the matterstream was so weak, sir, but the connection has been made. Maybe it has to do with the proximity of the planet to Earth, or the composition of their Stargate. Maybe the naquada is at either a lesser or higher level of density. We could compare it to a Volvo and a Mercedes, sir…if their gate is built with better quality naquada it might just give a smoother ride."

 

"Or lower quality…?"

 

Sam shrugged. "Could be."

 

Jack threw a sideways glance at Daniel's frowning expression. "We have a mission here, kids." Continuing his stride up the ramp, he paused before the event horizon to look back, making sure his team was following. Slowly, the three teammates made their way up behind him.

 

Daniel lingered on the ramp for a fraction of a moment, staring up at the blue rippling sheet his friends had just walked into, well aware that he had to enter this wormhole before it shut itself down for lack of travellers.

 

He didn't want to be labelled as a liability, a risk. He could do this job… just wasn't positive he wanted to any more.

 

He closed his eyes, preparing for the best or worst ride of his life.

 

_____

 

The ride was smooth enough, and Daniel heaved a sigh of relief when he exited the wormhole to find he actually was on P4T 255.

 

It was his teammates who weren't.

 

"Jack?" Daniel shouted, knowing there'd be no response, his heart thumping wildly and his stomach flipping. Not enough time for them to have been taken anywhere, captured, unless they'd been beamed away by something akin to the Taldor transport rays. Had the others not made it through the wormhole? Had the wormhole sent them somewhere else? That was impossible, wasn't it, without an energy surge?

 

Damn, damn damn damn damn damn.

 

Daniel frantically turned full circle, eyes scanning every area of the plains, the fields. Only some large animals, grazing in the distance. Only what the MALP had shown, no more no less.

 

Less. He was less three teammates. Damn, he'd known something was going to go wrong. Why couldn't it have gone wrong to him, at least. Why Jack, Sam, and Teal'c?

 

Damn damn damn. Daniel felt the heat behind his eyelids, felt the anger and frustration emerging like a turtle from its shell. God, not another search.

 

Another search for missing teammates, three this time instead of two. He'd felt these nerves before; felt such anxiety and tension when Jack and Sam had been lost in Antarctica, after a mission that felt like a lifetime ago. Had felt like this when he'd been home recovering from an appendectomy while his teammates had been stranded on an Asgaard ship.

 

"Sir, what's going on?" Sam asked worriedly. "He can't see us."

 

Crap. "Who's invisible here, Carter… us, or him?"

 

"O'Neill." Teal'c motioned towards the ground with his eyes.

 

The two teammates looked down, horrified to witness themselves hovering a few inches off the ground. Jack reached out to touch Carter, tentatively, his fingers slowly connecting with her shoulder. They passed through.

 

"I felt that, Sir."

 

"And what good does that do us, Major?" Jack snapped. Hell, was this what the skull had done to Daniel? If so, then maybe, having gone through this once, the SGC would be able to figure out their predicament pretty quickly. Jack looked up to see Daniel dialling in at the DHD. "Heads up, people."

 

The three teammates jumped to the side, as the matterstream flashed outwards with an unhealthy blue puft. This time, Daniel wasn't hesitating, plugging in SG-1's IDC and running through the gate.

 

"Let's go!" Jack ordered, not knowing if their state of being would even register inside the wormhole or if the thing would close down on them, sensing no travellers within.

 

As Daniel exited the wormhole into the SGC, his face a picture of panic and horror, a concerned Hammond rushed to the foot of the ramp.

 

Hammond stared at Daniel. The MALP had shown the linguist exiting alone, while those present in the control room had watched, stunned. They knew Daniel had no idea what had happened.

 

"The MALP sent back footage before the wormhole shut down, Dr. Jackson."

 

"Uh… General, we're right here!" Jack pointed behind him to Carter and Teal'c, frustratedly standing there.

 

"Sir… request permission to accompany the search teams," Daniel implored the leader.

 

"If there are any, Doctor."

 

"Wh… what?"

 

Hammond motioned with his head. "Come up to my office, son."

 

_____

 

"Doctor Jackson, there appears to have been no energy surge to throw the wormhole off course, and you yourself arrived safely on that planet."

 

The technician and physicist were both nodding their heads in agreement.

 

"Yes sir…. although it's possible that it might have been diverted for just a moment, isn't it?" Daniel himself knew that was stretching things, a long shot. "But what we did see, General, was a poorly connecting wormhole; I mean, you saw that barely visible vortex opening up."

 

"Exactly, Dr. Jackson. And since Major Carter isn't here to refute the present theories or offer any suggestions of her own, I am forced to go with the hypotheses of those technicians and physicists who remain on base." He nodded at the two present, in chairs around the small table. "Your impressions of what may have happened, Captain?"

 

"General… it appears more reasonable to conclude that the members of SG-1, barring Doctor Jackson for some unknown reason, were more than likely lost in the wormhole."

 

Daniel flinched. He had not wanted to hear this possibility, had banished it from his own thoughts intentionally. If this were indeed the case then no hope remained, and he was not willing to be without hope yet, far from it.

 

"We believe that their energy signatures were caught in the wormhole, due to insufficient energy to release them, in much the same way as Teal'c was trapped," the older scientist continued. "With the weakened power of the matterstream, there probably wasn't enough energy to release and reintegrate all four of you. Perhaps the gate at the other end was not in top condition."

 

The general eyed the archaeologist's downcast stare. "I'm very sorry, Doctor Jackson, but when you reopened the gate from your side, SG-1 was in all likelihood lost, their energy signatures erased."

 

"Hey! Don't tell him that!" Jack tried to intervene. "Don't listen to him, Daniel."

 

Daniel's eyes grew wide. He was responsible for the death of his teammates? He hadn't thought carefully of what being trapped within the wormhole might mean.

 

What else could he have done, other than gate home?

 

Hammond saw the look of horror and guilt in Daniel's features, and he hurried to ease the man's mind. "There was nothing that could have been done, son. You had to return home, and we would not have had a DHD to help them, this time, regardless."

 

Daniel was at a loss for words. They couldn't give up, not without even trying. "Sir…please. We have to do some searches on planets near the two gates. Please."

 

General Hammond felt as well as heard the desperation in the young man's voice. He himself wished there was a more plausible explanation than the one he'd been forced to unwillingly believe. "Son, even when the wormhole threw Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter to an alternate location, it only redirected them to a second gate here on Earth. It didn't send them to a different planet."

 

"No sir, it didn't. But it could have… I mean, they told me that's how you stopped the black hole…."

 

The desperation and pleading in Daniel's eyes were indicative of a young man who would get no rest until some attempts had been made to locate his missing team members. The last thing Hammond himself wanted was to admit defeat before he had even begun, to give up on his most experienced team. They deserved better, no matter how the odds were stacked against them. "Very well. We'll search the two closest planets on either side of Earth and P4T 255." Though Hammond was certain, unfortunately, that nothing would come of this search, if it could in any way ease Daniel's mind even a little bit, he believed it was worth the time and cost.

 

"Carter… what's going on here?" O'Neill knew, hell, they all knew, that a search was a waste of time, but what had really happened? He knew exactly where the rest of his team was, and still he had no answers.

 

"I'm sorry sir, I have no idea. The closest I can come to understanding this would be some connection with that skull we found, that sent Daniel to this same sort of dimension. But I can't tell you what we encountered to do that to us."

 

"But that's what they need to be working on, not doing a search and rescue."

 

"Yes sir. They don't know that, Colonel."

 

"So how do we get through to Daniel?"

 

_____

 

He'd been geared up and impatiently waiting in the gateroom well before their time of departure, but Daniel couldn't stand to wait around wasting time. All he'd been able to do was pace and pray.

 

His team likely wouldn't be out there. They would've come home if they could. Daniel held little hope of finding them on one of only four planets, but knew an ongoing search would be out of the question, and requesting such would be pushing his luck. For a moment, he'd thought Hammond was going to deny him even this small peace of mind.

 

SG-3 finally arrived, looking as unconvinced as Hammond himself. But they were willing to go anywhere Hammond was willing to send them, to look for SG-1. "We'll do our best, Daniel," they'd said, and pounded him on the back.

 

"I know."

 

And as they stepped out into the savannah of P9K 709, Daniel crossed one hopeful possibility off his list.

 

_____

 

Three planets and sixteen hours later, Daniel and SG-3 had returned from cursory looks around all the designated Stargate sites but one. Daniel had known deep down that this search would be futile, for there had been no energy surge, quite the contrary, to send his team off across the universe, and the wormhole had undeniably remained connected to P4T 255. But he'd known he would never rest unless they'd tried. Now, he was allowing SG-6 to have a look at the final destination, without him.

 

"General, the only other possibility is that there's a second gate on 255, like there was here on Earth. Or some transport beam, maybe aimed at Jaffa, like Thor's Hammer…"

 

"Doctor Jackson…"

 

"Sir!" Daniel's eyes were pleading. "Request permission to continue the aborted mission to 255, and to question the locals."

 

Hammond realized that this would at least be in accordance with the continued workings of the SGC timetable... killing two birds with one stone, as they say. "Agreed."

 

_____

 

Daniel sat in his dark office, head in his hands.

 

This was the last chance for his team, yet deep down he felt it would be a futile one as well. Hopelessly chasing dreams, wishing on a star…. How could he have stepped out of the wormhole after his teammates, and not found them there? How?? God Sam, where are you when it most counts? A second gate really wasn't a plausible answer.

 

Could they have been spit into space, by a "hole" in the wormhole? Something had gone wrong with that connection; they'd never seen such a weak matterstream. God, how he needed Sam here right now to work through this with him.

 

"Daniel, come on. We're here." Carter was as frustrated as the colonel, while Teal'c had remained quiet for the most part. "Sir, we're not tired or hungry, so let's assume we're in the same dimension as the one the skull sent Daniel to. Now… Daniel's grandfather was able to see him, because he'd also been in that phase at one time… so logically, Daniel should be able to see us now."

 

Jack looked passively at Carter. "Your point?"

 

"He can't, sir."

 

"Major… no kidding. So how does that help us?"

 

"This can't be exactly the same thing, sir."

 

"Super, Carter. So much closer to the solution, now, aren't we."

 

Carter's features showed dejection as Jack slid off the seat he'd sunk into up to his waist. They knew now that actually sitting on something was only an illusion, one they could humour or ignore at will. They could hover, float, and rest whether it be on a physical surface or in mid air.

 

"How long do you believe our bodies will be able to remain this way, Major Carter?" Teal'c asked.

 

"I have no idea, Teal'c," Sam admitted. "Do we stay, or go back to 255 with Daniel, Sir?" Carter looked at the forlorn archaeologist, still sitting in the dark. How she wished they could make him aware of their presence, as much for his sake as theirs.

 

"Well… got nothing to do here. I say we go."

 

_____

 

Daniel spent the following two days in his office, waiting for SG-3 to be given the go-ahead for a mission to 255, waiting for it to be declared safe. Again and again, the matterstream came forth as a weak facsimile of a true vortex, and Hammond was not prepared to risk another team going through just yet. Daniel bent over notes that were scribbled and doodled and written over so darkly he could barely read them any more; perusing early video feedback from the planet 255 that showed status quo each time he looked, no changes, no illusions, no anomalies except perhaps unnaturally bad weather at random short intervals. He'd watched this dozens of times, over and over for two days, but he was no closer to unravelling the mystery of the malfunction than at the moment it had happened.

 

"General, maybe if we send objects through, try to lose one and then see if we can trace what happened to it," he'd suggested, and the experiments had begun. Each time, the items, weighing at least the equivalent of a man, had appeared undamaged on the other side.

 

"So we can go through safely, Sir."

 

Hammond eyed the archaeologist, whom he knew was desperate and responding beyond logical dictates. "I may be prepared to attempt this with MALPs and tables, Doctor Jackson, but I've lost a good team out there for a reason we believe related to the uncharacteristic properties of the wormhole, and perhaps a malfunctioning gate on 255. I won't risk sending another team. I'm sorry." They had sent a UAV, however, and while there appeared to be a village not too distant, there was no sign of a second gate. If there had been, SG-1 surely would have gated home, and if it was on the opposite side of the planet, halfway around its world as the Antarctica gate had been here on Earth, then there was no way of a rescue team ever even reaching it.

 

_____

 

For three nights Daniel tossed and turned, barely sleeping save for a couple of dreams of his team calling out to him from the depths of somewhere unidentifiable, cursing him for leaving them lost and frightened.

 

And Daniel himself would wake up frightened, and lost in knowing that everything of value he had in this world was gone. Or at least, out there counting on him, and he was useless, this time.

 

Then finally, as Daniel sat on edge in the control room for the eleventh or twelfth or thirteenth or so time, the final sluggish wormhole opened, establishing contact with a world he was supposed to have been on, happily searching out cultures, technology, and partnerships, a world on which he should have been arguing contentedly with a frustrated colonel, at the sides of his teammates instead of watching from a video screen hundreds of light years away, when the dreaded declaration came from beside him.

 

"I'm sorry, son. We still can't establish a strong connection, and I'm not sending a team through under the same conditions as those in which your team was lost. Particularly when I don't believe that SG-1 is actually somewhere on that planet. As of now, Dr. Jackson, I'm discontinuing the search, and the work on P4T 255 will be postponed. SG-1 is officially MIA." Before Daniel had a chance to say a word, he added sincerely, "You have no idea how truly sorry I am, son." For Hammond had lost not only three of his best people, but three friends as well. This decision was harder on him than anyone could ever possibly know.

 

_____

 

 

Daniel lay on the bunk in his dark quarters, face buried in the pillow. Whatever time it was and however long he'd been lying there, he didn't give a damn.

 

His tears had fallen silently at first, before giving way to sporadic muffled sobs. Even in this privacy, he was determined not to be heard from out in the corridor.

 

"Daniel." Jack was sitting beside him, his hand trying to rest on his friend's back. Carter sat on the floor, her chin leaning into the mattress, her hand covering Daniel's. Teal'c sat in the single chair at the foot of the bed, or rather, hovered slightly above it. "What are we going to do, Carter?"

 

They'd been going over this for days, and had come up with nothing. Even if they did have an answer, they would still need someone to tell it to. "I'm not prepared to live like this indefinitely."

 

"It appears we may have no choice, O'Neill."

 

Jack glared at Teal'c, before again turning his attention to his despondent fourth teammate. "Come on Daniel, it's not like you to give up. We need you working on this."

 

_____

 

Daniel moped around for the next few days, having barely the energy or will to drag himself out of bed. He'd remained on base, hoping, praying, for an idea, for inspiration, for his team to walk through the gate with Jack's voice calling, "We're ho-ome."

 

But nothing like that had come about, and Daniel's state of mind was deteriorating.

 

Jack had tried everything he could think of, from his end. "Daniel, snap out of it!" hadn't worked; bouncing up and down on the bed as Daniel lay there had elicited not even a blink. Meditating and trying to enter Daniel's thoughts as he slept had had no effect either. Now, he just sat on the bed beside the friend who lay there, staring aimlessly, so it seemed, at the ceiling. They all knew that in his thoughts, Daniel was trying to formulate some plan… or so they hoped… but outwardly, his aching sorrow was penetrating their own already weakened states of mind.

 

Jack leaned over his younger friend. "Come on, Daniel. Somewhere in there you've got to hear us, sense us … don't you?" He laid his hand on Daniel's head. Was this an invasion of privacy, all of them sitting here with Daniel like this, touching him even, without his knowledge? Not that they were actually…touching him. He couldn't feel it, and they couldn't feel him. But they knew something had to be done, for Daniel's state of mind was not healthy. They knew he missed them dearly, knew he felt the loss deeper than even Hammond could suspect. Maybe, by sitting here with him, eventually some thought would get through….

 

There was a knock at the door, and when Daniel didn't respond, the voice of Dr. Frasier called out, "Daniel, open the door, please. I need to speak to you."

 

"Come in," was the low reply.

 

Janet entered the dark room, flicking on the light as Daniel turned on his side, sheltering his eyes.

 

"Daniel, don't you think you should be getting up by now?"

 

"Why?"

 

"You have work to do, and this isn't healthy behaviour."

 

"There's no work I want to do, Janet."

 

"Daniel… look, SG-1 would hate to see you like this. They wouldn't want this."

 

"Finally, doc!" Jack spurted. "He needs someone who understands, right now."

 

"They're not here."

 

"Look, Daniel… the SGC has two grief counsellors on staff…"

 

"I don't need grief counsellors, Janet," Daniel cut her off. "I need to find my team."

 

"That's not going to happen, Daniel."

 

Daniel sat up abruptly. "Like hell it's not."

 

_____

 

"Sir, I'd like to go back to work."

 

Hammond quickly stifled the relieved smile that nearly broke through. He'd been afraid that Dr. Jackson had come here to resign. "Of course, Doctor. It's good to see you feeling a bit better. There's a backlog of artifacts in the sto…"

 

"No, General, I'm sorry; I need to go offworld."

 

Hammond frowned at the man before him. "I'm not sure that's the best thing for you right at this time, Doctor Jackson. Give it a couple of weeks…"

 

"No, sir, I need to have my mind occupied fully. If I work in my office or in the lab, all I'll be thinking about is how Sam isn't here to analyze things with me, how Jack isn't dropping by to annoy me…"

 

"Annoy him? That's all I'm useful for?" Jack stated indignantly. Inwardly, he and the rest of the team were thrilled that Daniel had decided to go back to work, that he'd finally gotten out of bed. How they'd communicate their predicament would be hard, but maybe in an open, enthusiastic state of mind, Daniel might be more receptive. Where there was a working Daniel, there was hope.

 

Carter grinned. "He's saying it with love in his voice, Colonel."

 

"Sshh…" O'Neill was listening.

 

"…I need to be one hundred percent involved, General, somewhere my mind won't keep wandering."

 

"Hey, I missed what he said about Teal'c," Jack complained.

 

"I understand." Hammond knew this could be the best solution to grief. Under normal circumstances he would have pushed for it himself, except these weren't normal circumstances; loss usually consisted of a single teammate, not three. "You can go offworld with SG-7 until we get a new team for you."

 

A new team. Daniel grimaced at the words. They cut his heart as if the reaction was itself physical. God, he could never be part of a new team… could he? Did he want to?

 

His teammates had seen the look of pain flitter across his face, and three sets of hands had almost simultaneously taken up position on his shoulders. Hands he could neither see nor feel.

 

"Thank you, General."

 

"They're assigned to P6C 329 tomorrow morning. Be geared up at 0930 hours."

 

"Yes sir. Thank you."

 

_____

 

SG-7 thought their job was to rehabilitate a depressed man, and were trying to hide their resentment. Yet they knew Daniel was an excellent linguist and archaeologist, and so had put forth no formal objection. "Look, Daniel… we're glad to have your skills with us, but we need you to be entirely present here, got that? You pull your own weight; we watch each other's backs but no special treatment. We're not SG-1."

 

Daniel flinched, then looked steadily into Col. Watson's eyes. "No, you're not," he uttered. "You don't need to remind me of that. But when I'm in the field, Colonel, I give only my best." For the short time I'll be with you, he thought, you don't have to worry about me.

 

SG-1 was glaring at Watson. They'd followed the team here to P6C 329, for where Daniel went, they'd go. There was nothing back at the base for them, nothing at all for them anywhere any more. If Daniel couldn't figure this out… and it seemed as though he'd stopped trying … then there was no hope left for them. They would just have to see how long their bodies could survive in this state, if they were indeed surviving at all. Perhaps it was already too late to get them back alive and intact.

 

"I'll go send back the MALP." Daniel's hand fluttered in the direction of the Stargate, as he looked serenely at Watson. The others had already begun shuffling off to explore the immediate vicinity. Watson nodded, then headed after his team.

 

Jack stared after Watson. This would be hard, seeing Daniel under someone else's command. What would happen when the archaeologist started questioning orders, started imposing his own pacifistic world view…

 

"Sir, those aren't the glyphs for Earth!" Carter grabbed at Jack's sleeve, her hand penetrating his arm.

 

Jack looked over at the gate as the chevrons lit up and locked. "Let's go!" he shouted, as Daniel ran towards the open wormhole, bypassing the MALP. The shouts from SG-7 were cut off as the four teammates ran through into the shimmering blueness. SG-7 were all too far away to see the coordinates in time.

 

_____

 

Daniel exited on P4T 255. If there was any chance of a second gate here, or some transport beam, any chance at all, he'd make sure to find it. If this was his only hope of maybe finding his teammates, he was willing to take the risk.

 

"Oh, Daniel," Sam whispered by his side, "we're not here."

 

"Yes we are," corrected O'Neill.

 

"Sir… not the way he thinks."

 

While a few objects sent by the SGC were littered around the gate… those that hadn't been obliterated by the weak vortexes… there was nothing in the immediate vicinity of the Stargate; that is, nothing but plains and grazing animals. Hopefully, some of these animals were domesticated… meaning there would be people, and shelter, and … maybe news of SG-1. Daniel was almost hopeful. His dread and anxieties hadn't dissipated since the day they'd all disappeared, however, but that might just be due to the tension inherent in the hope and uncertainty of finding his friends.

 

Within two hours SG-1 and Daniel had discovered the village.

 

Laundry was out hanging on the lines, and cookfires were happening outside the adobe homes. A new culture surrounded him but Daniel had little interest in studying it. The man in green received many frowns and curious stares, though no one seemed to recognize the clothing or want to attempt conversation.

 

"Um …hello." Daniel began.

 

The response was in a language completely undecipherable to the linguist, and after several failed attempts at communication, Daniel gave up in frustration. Moving on, he encountered no one who could help with his search. It didn't seem as though similarly dressed strangers had come this way at all. Not a surprise, if his team had come through a second gate, far away from here. Although he had secretly been hoping for a transport beam… something these people might know about, and so much easier to explain away the situation. How to ask them, though, remained his most pressing question.

 

_____

 

What now? It had been five hours; hours of fruitless searching. He had neither encountered SG-1 nor seen any trace of them, and Daniel had resorted to calling out his teammates' names as he walked through the village. Just in case. A silly action, he knew, for if SG-1 had been anywhere near here, they would have gated home long ago. Inwardly, he hoped someone would recognize at least one of their names. If they'd been somehow captured, maybe these people would know how or why. Maybe the same thing had happened to others who had come before them.

 

And maybe he was making way too many wild guesses. But the SGC had called off the search, and if their reasoning was correct… that the others had for some reason been lost in the wormhole… then what was left, but wild guesses? And if something else had happened, Daniel was determined to figure out what that something was even if it took him the rest of his natural life. If Hammond thought this to be an exaggeration, then he had no real understanding of SG-1, nor of the determination of Daniel Jackson when something he cared about deeply was at stake.

 

Maybe they'd been taken to another planet intentionally. Maybe a Thor's Hammer type ray had instantly beamed away all those arriving with a Jaffa, although there had been no observable device by the gate. Maybe they were here, being held and questioned, like the Taldor had done to them. Maybe they could be anywhere.

 

Or nowhere.

 

Even while convincing himself that the wormhole had split, opening two nearby gates and thus causing a power loss, Daniel couldn't deny that his teammates may never have made it through the wormhole at all, that possibly the wormhole itself had been a dismal malfunction. And that if they were trapped within it, they would've been lost the minute he'd dialled home. The guilt had remained since the words had left Hammond's lips, and Daniel knew he had to try every possibility, no matter how slim, how farfetched, how outrageous. He had to. He wasn't returning home without his teammates. For the most logical part of him continued to nag, 'You were not harmed, you made it through okay. Something else has to be going on.' So damn it, Jackson. Your friends are not gone.

 

Daniel slid down onto his knees, ignoring the thorns in the surrounding scrub. Damn. Tell that to his heart.

 

_____

 

God it was cold here.

 

Daniel set up his tent in a field that night, far from the shaggy grazing cows, noticed by no one, and lay for a long time in the blackness, wrapped in both pullovers he'd brought, cocooned in his sleeping bag, listening to the insects and the winds rustling the long grasses. He'd never slept offworld alone before, unless one chose to count his kidnappings by Chaka and Nem, and the isolation was harsh and debilitating. Even on Yu's ship, Jacob and the others had at least known where he was.

 

"God Jack, where are you?" he uttered aloud. "Sam? Give me a clue, a sign. Dial a DHD, make the ground shake." But he knew a second gate would be way too far away. Only the promise of someday reaching the lost members of his team if it was at all possible, finally allowed sleep to come, as dawn began to break.

 

"Geez, Carter, with no distractions, if he doesn't sense us here, I give up."

 

"Sir, he's not thinking at all that we might just be out of phase, on another plane. He has no reason to think of that; all he remembers is Antarctica and Cimmeria."

 

"And?"

 

"And he's doing his best, sir, more than we could have asked of him. It's not fair to get frustrated with him."

 

"I'm not frustrated with Daniel, Carter."

 

"Then what, sir?"

 

"With being Casper, Carter. No, even Casper has a lot more fun. I want my body back, Major. I want to eat spaghetti, salad; hell, MRE's would do it for me right now. I want beer and my bed and for Daniel to know we're not dead."

 

And he was damned frustrated with himself for so soon having to break a promise, 'No more missions alone, Daniel.' Crap. Should've listened to the man, one more time.

 

Jack watched Daniel lying on his side, his breathing betraying the fact that he still was not asleep. What was he thinking about? What was he feeling?

 

"God, guys, where are you?" Jack heard the slight whisper.

 

"Right here, Daniel. We're right here beside you." Jack touched his friend's cheek, or tried to. God, how long could they do this?

 

_____

 

 

The second day, too, had revealed no useful information, in spite of Daniel's best mimes and charades. Daniel had drawn pictures, rays of light; the Stargate in place beyond the town, and a second Stargate, in a void. "Two?" he'd questioned, and counted one, two. Blank stares and shrugs of the shoulder were the only responses, and Daniel now lay awake in his tent, another night passing slowly, the silence broken only by sounds of insects rubbing their legs. He'd covered this entire town on foot, knocked on doors, stopped people in the lanes and at their foodstalls. He'd used every language he could think of as well as Pictionary, and had not given up until several hours after dark had left the small hamlet nearly empty. Finally, he had been forced to retreat to the fields, and pitch his tent by the bulb of a flashlight.

 

Admitting the truth was painful. This place had no second Stargate, no Thor's Hammer, at least none that anyone knew of.

 

He was out of options.

 

Daniel took out his journal, in the idle hope that writing might ease his pain.

 

'I have no idea what to do, where to look. I'm afraid to admit that SG-1… my team, my friends… might be gone for good. They could be on some other planet, but I have none of the coordinates and the SGC has refused to search. If they were blasted out into space, they've been dead since I returned from 255 without them. If they were tossed through a second gate, somehow… and I have no idea how that could've happened… I have no idea where to start looking, other than any place but here. If they've been transported aboard some vessel, or taken away with a beam of some sort to another part of this land, I still have no idea where to search. The only thing I know for sure is that I can't give up and go home.'

 

Daniel knew he couldn't go home anyway; he was AWOL and would face disciplinary measures, even though he was a civilian. He'd lose his job, probably; at the very least, he'd never be allowed through the Stargate again; no one would want a teammate or employee they couldn't trust.

 

"The only thing I know for sure is that I can't give up and go home," Jack finished reading, knowing he was invading Daniel's privacy but he was so damn bored… and he knew Carter and Teal'c felt the same way. Besides, not being able to talk to Daniel meant that the only way they knew what he was thinking was to read his words on paper. "Sorry, buddy. But you'll forgive me one day, or else you'll never have to know." Damn, what a mess.

 

"The weak matterstream was probably a symptom, sir, the actual cause probably being a malfunctioning gate at this end and an unstable event horizon, which is what actually allows us to reintegrate. Not enough energy to put us back together intact."

 

"Then why did it work okay for Daniel?"

 

"Because we went through together, three at a time. Daniel lagged behind and came through alone. It probably took more energy, more power or force, to get all three of us through safely at once."

 

"So why didn't it fix us when we went through again?"

 

"I don't know sir. Maybe it doesn't work that way. Normal wormholes expel you the in the same condition as when you stepped through. When Daniel came back to Earth with you, Teal'c, after being exposed to the skull's forces, it didn't transfer him back to our plane either."

 

"So Carter, you think those giant aliens got their technology from gate mishaps?"

 

Carter smiled. "You never know, sir."

 

"It appears we are to remain in this state indefinitely, O'Neill. Our most pressing concern at this point in time is how we may contact Daniel Jackson."

 

The three of them had noticed that Daniel had ceased writing and now lay staring at the page under the dim illumination of his flashlight. Tears were silently slipping down his cheeks, ending up on the jacket he was using as a pillow. Closing his eyes, he muttered barely audibly, "God. Now what do I do, Jack?"

 

"Why does he keep looking to you for advice, sir?" Carter teased her CO, a bit envious, yet knowing there really was no humour in the situation. Daniel was in such bad shape, and their position was no better.

 

Lying down beside Daniel, she put her arm around his waist, trying not to let it sink into his abdomen, that so freaked her out although she was getting used to it, and tucked her head in beside his shoulder. "Go to sleep, Daniel. You're not alone, although it seems that way to you right now." She knew it may always seem like that to him from now on, forever, for if he never came up with the idea of invisibility… and why would he, really… and even if he did, they had no way of reversing it… they might never be able to let him know that they'd been around through this whole ordeal. And if he wouldn't go home, the future didn't look too bright for Daniel. The last thing Sam wanted for her friend was for him to end his days like this, lost in despair, alone on an alien planet.

 

_____

 

Daniel packed up his tent, preparing to move on. There might not be a second Stargate on this world, but he had nowhere else to go and nothing else to do anyway. He'd keep on searching, and if he thought of something brilliant along the way, well, he could always turn back. Walking helped him think better anyway, and would probably warm him up.

 

Now passing through the outskirts of the main living area, Daniel kept on, asking each person he met about the existence of a second Stargate, or a transport beam, showing the pictures he had drawn and miming what he could. Losing interest, he was running on remote, for each response was the same, until…

 

… one man's eyes finally lit up in apparent understanding, his features growing excited. Using his finger as a pencil, he kept tracing a route across the vast land, and Daniel rummaged in his pockets and finally withdrew his pen.

 

The man drew what appeared to be rivers or lakes, mountains and plains, and far beyond these, way at the top of the page, he drew a Stargate.

 

Daniel's heart sped up with anticipation. Finally, he had somewhere to start. This would be like looking for a needle in a haystack, but taken apart piece by piece, straw by straw, he swore he could eventually find that needle. And Daniel had a lot of time on his hands, assuming that his friends had food and water and weren't already almost dead.

 

He could only do what he could do, and that would have to do.

 

"No!" Jack shouted. "Don't listen to him! Damn it, who'd think they really would have another gate here. Geez, Daniel, you won't find us there."

 

But the shouts were as futile as the hands that tried to grab Daniel's arms and stop him from going. They could no more control him than they could their own visibility.

 

Daniel's eyes were shining for the first time in nearly a week. And what was more, the man was eagerly beckoning Daniel, leading him; beckoning and leading, and Daniel followed, the rest of SG-1 so close behind.

 

"I swear, Carter, if we ever get out of this, I'll never let Daniel live down this wild goose chase."

 

"Daniel Jackson is going to extremes for us, O'Neill."

 

"Teal'c's right, he's going to the ends of the Earth for us, sir… so to speak."

 

"And I appreciate it, I do. I just wish he wasn't so damn wrong."

 

_____

 

Daniel felt like shouting, crying, yelling to the gods or false gods, he was so relieved. Release of the tension within him had made his legs tremble, made them feel like that proverbial rubber. Finally, he might be getting somewhere, and getting there easily. For this man was not only showing him the way, supposedly, to a second Stargate, but was even coming along for the ride.

 

Surely a second Stargate couldn't have been placed as far away from its twin as the two on Earth? But why two, if the first one still functioned?

 

They'd reached the boat after a two-hour hike, a contraption that was little more than a small motorboat, powered by two enormous springs, one on each side. A few minutes of strenuous winding and the oar-like mechanisms would then be automatically fueled for the next forty minutes or so. Then wind again, and relax. They had taken turns with the winding job, and Daniel was feeling peaceful for the first time in days, even weeks. That giant dread that had pervaded him had been given a focus; his fears had come to pass, and now all he could do was act upon his vague theories. At least they gave him a direction, allowing some action to be taken.

 

He was even learning the language, while the oars powered themselves and pushed them onward at a steady pace, gradually slowing as the springs wound down.

 

SG-1 had been apprehensive about Daniel getting into this contraption constructed of neither wood nor steel. What it was, they had no idea. There was no roof overhead, and had seating for only four… or five, if three were invisible and able to be sat upon. Arms penetrating them whenever Daniel or the other man moved, had no impact.

 

"Can't get much closer that this, huh Carter? You'd think Daniel would sense something."

 

"You've said that before, sir. If he was able to, he would've sensed us long ago."

 

"I know. I'm not blaming him."

 

Jack caught Daniel's shiver, and noticed him pulling his jacket tighter. "Must be getting colder, kids."

 

The winds had started up, growing chilly as the day progressed. They'd been on the lake for nearly eight hours, and the bleak daylight was fading.

 

The springs wound down, and the man, who'd Daniel discovered was named LahAddy, threw an anchor over the side and settled down against the bow.

 

"We're stopping here?" questioned Daniel. God, he needed to stretch. Pulling his sleeping bag out of its holding straps, he tried his best to get comfortable, not to mention warm, as the boat bobbed. "Why are you doing this," he asked, "taking me all this way?" But the language lessons had not progressed far enough to actually hold any type of conversation, yet. Daniel knew he had nothing with which to repay LahAddy, but if he indeed found his teammates at the other end of this absurd venture, he'd make sure to find something.

 

LahAddy just smiled, closed his eyes, and fell asleep.

 

Daniel gazed around him at the expanse of navy water, its colour deepening as the sky grew darker. Some stars were out amongst the clouds, glimmering off the water, the three moons at different levels across the sky bringing home the fact that this was definitely an alien planet, and that he and the man across from him could barely communicate.

 

Daniel stared out to sea, sleep eluding him in the gently rocking boat, hope and nervousness intermingling to keep him wide-awake and feeling very alone.

 

Depending how far that Stargate was and what he found at the end of it, this planet might well turn out to be home.

 

_____

 

The long night dragged on, Daniel spending it watching the other man sleep seemingly impervious to the cold. He himself was freezing, the sleeping bag apparently 'all weather' only on one's home planet. There was actually ice on the boat's hull.

 

Another night of watching the clock, this time far from his warm bed.

 

"So, Daniel. Wanna play cards?" God, Jack could think of nothing more boring than spending a night sitting. Even on watch, he could get up, move around, stoke the fire, make coffee, and then go to sleep when a teammate came to relieve him. But at least he, Carter, and Teal'c had each other now, had conversation. Poor Daniel had no one.

 

Jack stood up, trying to bounce and shake the boat. But it kept on bobbing gently with the peaceful ripples that passed for waves. "Talk about feeling powerless, this is even worse than being stuck in a time loop."

 

"Daniel Jackson must have felt just as impotent and frustrated when he was trapped in the other dimension as well, with no hope of ever being rescued."

 

"Yeah, well. At least he knew we were working on it. If we ever get home, remind me to find a tv to sit in front of for the rest of my invisible life. No more going on vacation whims with Danny Boy here."

 

'Danny Boy', however, was looking undeniably miserable, and Jack knew the worst part of this, more so than even the boredom, was in not being able to communicate with his friend. Christ, Daniel. I hope we get out of this, for your sake if not ours.

 

_____

 

Daniel had watched the unfamiliar stars shift, watched the moons tread their slow dance across the sky playing hide-and-seek amongst the clouds. A different sort of Milky Way threaded itself in amongst them. Missing were the lights of distant towns glowing on the horizon, though if this had been Africa the lack of familiarity would not have been so ominous.

 

Every expression on Daniel's face had been understood by Jack and the others, and they too had sat in silence, seeing what Daniel was seeing, looking out at the blackness of the lake and horizon, the stars that Daniel was pondering as the possible new homeworld of his missing teammates. Were they up there, somewhere?

 

No, Jack thought. We're so close, my friend. If you like clichés, and I do, we're so near and yet so far.

 

The night had finally opened into dawn, and LahAddy yawned, slowly rising. Muttering something that Daniel thought may have meant something like "How'd ya sleep?", Daniel responded by smiling, figuring his tired red eyes would be a dead giveaway. He was relieved to finally be on his way.

 

"No, let me do that!" Daniel gently pulled LahAddy's hands off the spring winder. He needed to do this first, needed some way of warming up. It had been so cold all night, even with the extra two sweaters he'd brought, and his jeans. "I want to." And LahAddy just smiled, backing away.

 

The sun never did show through the clouds, and the weather grew colder as the day wore on. "Are we moving north?" Daniel asked, and LahAddy just smiled. The lake was even beginning to freeze over in places. Even Daniel's glasses were fogged and useless, and he deposited them into his pocket as his breath left mist in the air.

 

By late afternoon LahAddy had pulled up to a shore spotted with ice crystals and a dusting of snow. He indicated that they would make camp here for the night.

 

Both Daniel and LahAddy shared the tent that night, LahAddy sleeping peacefully once again, Daniel shivering to keep warm. There seemed to be no inhabitants of this area of the land, no lakeside cottages sporting snowmen and skating children, causing Daniel to wonder if maybe it was always this cold here. Being from Colorado of late, he should have been used to this. Normally, however, he did not sleep outside in Colorado's wintertime.

 

Daniel had plenty of time to study the man before him. LahAddy seemed to be about forty years old, by Earth standards, and Daniel still had no idea why he'd come on this journey. For adventure? Maybe. Whatever the reason, Daniel was more than grateful to have him around.

 

The wind whistled around the small tent, the rain fly coming loose in the night and flapping loudly against the tent walls. Daniel pulled his jacket closed and crawled out, struggling to pound the stakes back into the rock solid frozen ground. They wouldn't go deep enough to hold.

 

LahAddy turned in his sleep as Daniel made his way back into the chilly interior, never waking the man. Daniel once again barely slept. Was this journey going to prove futile, a wild goose chase? Or would his friends finally be there at the end of it?

 

_____

 

Another long, tiring, boring, unnerving day of boating, this time close to shore, as ice was building up on the water. Finally, they could go no farther. Ice had formed thickly in places, and to continue on would risk damage to the boat. Snow covered the ground, and Daniel's heart sank. If this search didn't pan out, there was nothing left, for him, for his friends. He knew that as much as he wanted them back, he was also their only hope. He couldn't leave them to their present fate and still live with himself.

 

LahAddy pulled over to the shore and disembarked on inches of frozen water, waiting for Daniel to do the same. Holding the map he'd drawn, he pointed to the second Stargate in the top corner, and waved in its direction. Smiling, he kept on waving, as though the naquada ring would be straight over the next hilltop. But that wouldn't make sense; this was still way too close.

 

Then LahAddy turned and stepped back into the boat.

 

"Wait, no!" Daniel called out, going after him, his boots crunching on previously undisturbed snow, ankle-deep. "Are you leaving?" LahAddy turned and smiled, again waving in the same direction, and then began to wind the spring.

 

Daniel stared, beginning to panic. LahAddy couldn't just leave him here like this… but the man was leaving, and Daniel could either stay, or choose to go with him and forgo any chance of ever finding his friends. All this would have been for nothing. If the gate really was so close…

 

"Don't, Daniel." Jack, too, was starting to panic for his friend. "We're not there. Go back with him."

 

Daniel reached out to shake LahAddy's hand. "Thank you," he said.

 

"Daniel Jackson, do not remain here." Teal'c tried to caution.

 

"Daniel, come on. Back in the boat. Get back in, buddy." As the boat took off with LahAddy at the helm, Jack kicked the snow, leaving no impression. "Damn it!"

 

Jack looked at his friend, seeing the despair and fear in his eyes, fear he was courageously trying to conquer. Daniel really was dedicated to rescuing them, and Jack felt a warmth within at the loyalty and love of his friend, a warmth that he knew Daniel had no part of right now. The man was scared and freezing, unprepared for this extreme weather. "Find some shelter, Daniel."

 

Daniel gazed out at his isolated surroundings. The semi-frozen lake stretched out behind him, snow-covered plains and hills reached into the never-ending distance. The gate was supposed to be over those hills. "Have to find shelter," he told himself out loud, his voice sounding strange in the desolate white wilderness.

 

Even if he found the others, he had no idea how they'd get back. But it didn't matter. They'd all be together, and his heart would be able to rest.

 

If they were out there… which they probably weren't, and in that case, he'd be alone maybe forever.

 

_____

 

Daniel walked until the gray sky grew dim, walked until his legs were too cold to feel. There had been no shelter, and he was hoping to reach the hills and find either a cave or an overhang, so as not to have to put up the tent in four inches of snow. His boots left footprints as he walked; if not the first man to leave his mark upon this soil, then definitely the first alien to do so. There were, however, a few tracks left by other creatures, all of them four-legged. As Daniel walked, alone in the icy white solitude, he was unaware of the three hands of friends attempting to rub his back and shoulders.

 

_____

 

He had finally reached the first of the hills, exhausted from the journey and from two days' lack of sleep, unable to go farther no matter what. Finding no hole or alcove, his fingers numb, he clumsily erected the tent between two hills, hoping to shelter at least from the wind.

 

Daniel had been eating MRE's since arriving on this planet, and now he tore one open, mixed it with cold water from his canteen, and crunched it down without tasting. He'd packed plenty of food, no matter how unappetizing, knowing that he'd likely be gone for a very long time.

 

Now, settling down in the cold tent, his sleeping bag draped around him as tightly as it would go, head tucked inside as well, Daniel finally felt the foolhardiness of what he'd done. The sensation taunting him now like a provocative child, he realized that maybe all he'd wanted to do was run away, leave his problems behind in the illusion of solving them. For Daniel knew his friends, his teammates, his only family, were not on the other side of those hills.

 

"God, Jack. Sam… Teal'c. What have I done?"

 

_____

 

There was nothing to do but move on.

 

The day loomed hardly warmer than the night, and Daniel found he could walk no more than two hours before his legs went numb. The wind blew snow fiercely into his eyes and nose, causing his lungs to burn with each inhalation of the frigid air. Falling to the snow, he dragged himself up, feeling like an extra hundred pounds had been deposited on his back.

 

Keeping close to the hills, the first alcove he noticed drew him forward.

 

The hole in the hill could almost be classified as a small cave, for the space was large enough to set up four or five tents, and the entrance was enclosed enough to shelter out most of the elements.

 

"Finally," Jack muttered in relief. He hadn't been able to lift Daniel when he'd fallen, and knew his friend desperately needed warmth and rest.

 

"Finally," Daniel sighed, dropping to the cold earthen floor for a few minutes before forcing himself to set up "camp".

 

Daniel had gathered some broken twigs from the hillsides along his route, and now draped his emergency mylar blanket over the mouth of the cave, held up by tent pegs. With a very small fire contained within his tiny abode, he had soon stopped shivering. While the fire wouldn't last for more than an hour, the short reprieve from the cold had been a blessing. He had also managed to warm up some water for a hot stir-in-package MRE and an instant coffee.

 

He leaned against the cave wall, savouring the coffee that would probably keep him up all night once again. At least the insulating mylar over the entryway would keep in some of the warmth from the now-dead fire, and keep out the wind.

 

Geez. There was nothing he wouldn't give for his three teammates to be here now with him.

 

Jack watched his friend from the other rock wall, and threw Carter a look. They would give just about anything to be able to communicate with Daniel right about now. The solitude was even getting to him, and he had people to talk to. They were a couple hundred odd light years from home - not all that much in the grand scheme of things, one of the theories as to why the wormhole had had such little force - but distant enough from home to make the isolation impact sharply. Jack knew that Daniel had no idea what he was facing, or whether he'd ever go home again. Of course, if Daniel didn't, neither would they… but at least they weren't experiencing the frigid temperatures, or hunger. Jack knew that if the worst came to pass, they'd be forced to watch Daniel die in this harsh land, and they would be powerless to do anything to help him.

 

Daniel crawled into the tent he'd set up in here for extra warmth, and one by one the others crawled in after him. Carter preferred to be in visual contact of her friends, than to stay in that dark and lonely cave alone. It didn't matter if there was not much room; they could take up as little space as necessary, and Daniel would never even know they were in there.

 

"Come on over, Teal'c, still plenty of room. Just pretend we're hibernating bears," O'Neill quipped. He, too, did not want to be left alone out there tonight, and keeping watch was useless if the person you were watching over could not hear your warning shouts.

 

_____

 

An animal howled in the distance.

 

Daniel awoke, confusion overwhelming him for a moment until realization set in that he was in his tent in a cave on an alien world, alone in the middle of nowhere, with no transportation and not much of an idea of where he was heading. Shivering from the cold, Daniel pulled his sleeping bag around his ears and turned over. Now there were no sounds at all, just absolute silence and stillness in this vast white desert that was the world outside.

 

As the hours passed and slight shades of daylight filtered in under the edges of the mylar sheet, reflecting through the nylon taffeta walls of his tent, Daniel pulled his tired and stiff body out through the tent flap. The only reason he could see for rising at all was the fact that he was really, really hungry.

 

As he ate his cold instant oatmeal, imagining he could almost hear the snow gently falling outside the mouth of the cave, the thought of travelling onward into nowhere served only to worry and depress him. Not today, he thought, knowing that he couldn't survive too long in this weather on the rations he had brought. He needed energy. If there were some small animals outside, perhaps he'd be forced to go hunting.

 

The morning ticked on, Daniel leaning against a cave wall, writing in his journal, his fingers stiff with the cold and the writing clumsy. Soon he'd go collect some twigs for another small fire.

 

Sounds outside caused him to look up, as a hand and then face peered through the side of the silver sheet.

 

"Come in," Daniel was able to say in the language he'd begun to learn, dropping his journal and pen back into his pack and standing up, excited to have company. Two young men barely out of their teens entered, looking curiously at Daniel and the tent. They spoke quickly to each other in words Daniel could not comprehend.

 

"Daniel," Daniel pointed to himself. "I'm Daniel. Your names?"

 

"Salua," began the larger of the two. "Romau." He pointed to his friend.

 

"Welcome," Daniel smiled. "Coffee?" he offered, motioning to his pack. "It'll be cold, but at least it's flavourful." They watched with interest as Daniel emptied a spoonful of instant coffee into two plastic containers he'd kept for multiple purposes, and added the cold water from his water bottle.

 

They each took a sip, glancing at one another. The wrinkled noses and grimaces caused them both to laugh, but they held onto their makeshift cups, continuing to taste the contents.

 

Over the next two or three hours, Daniel managed to converse with his guests in a combination of sign language and a few more learned words and phrases. They looked with interest at his belongings, fingering the MRE's, the tape recorder, flashlight, toothbrush, gleefully peeling off Band-Aids and sticking them onto their clothing.

 

They showed Daniel the flat, open box-shaped contraption they'd arrived in, same material as LahAddy's boat, pulled by three large wolf-like animals.

 

They taught Daniel more of the language, and he realized the time was passing far too quickly. It felt good to laugh again.

 

"Daniel Jackson appears to have found friends," concluded Teal'c unnecessarily.

 

"Out here in the alien arctic… like only Daniel can," Jack retorted.

 

"It's good to see him smiling," Carter added, throwing a glance at her CO.

 

But Daniel's smile was quickly fading. The picture of the Stargates had brought a puzzled frown to his new friends' faces, and they'd shaken their heads emphatically. "No two," he'd understood them to say, as they motioned with their fingers and actions the carrying of a Stargate across the land… top of the map to the place he'd begun.

 

So… the Stargate… the single Stargate that Daniel had come through… had been moved? From here, up where the climate had become too cold, to further south?

 

There never had been a second Stargate, for LahAddy had only thought Daniel wanted to see the land from which the Stargate had first come.

 

The realization hit Daniel like a fist in the face.

 

This had been the last hope, last straw, last chance of ever finding his friends. They were gone.

 

"Sir?" Sam caught the look of horror plastered on Daniel's face, the eyes wide with a wild sense of loss. His teammates knew they were powerless to help, feeling as defeated as Daniel.

 

The two strangers rose as if to leave, taking one final look around. Daniel's hypnotic gaze was on the far wall, seeing nothing, wrapped in his misery, ignoring Romau fingering his pack, Salua moving unobtrusively behind him.

 

"Daniel! Oh my god, Colonel!"

 

"Damn it to hell! Bloody bastards!" There was nothing they could do but curse, Jack leading the loudest and most furiously.

 

The thin rope around his neck was sudden and shocking. Daniel inhaled sharply, his hands going to his throat. What…?

 

Why were they doing this?

 

Kill me now, he thought. Release me from this hell. But the rope wasn't that tight yet, and Daniel didn't really want to die.

 

Romau left the cave, throwing Daniel's pack into the snow vehicle. He returned, eyeing Daniel kneeling on the floor, his eyes wide and frightened, fingers grasping the rope at his throat. "Keep still and we won't hurt you," the man claimed, in words Daniel didn't understand.

 

Entering the tent, shuffling sounds indicated that Romau liked what he was seeing. Crawling out with Daniel's vest around his own back, he dragged the now rolled-up sleeping bag from the interior, tossing it into his arms and leaving the cave.

 

He returned within a moment, looking around. Picking up the tent itself and looking it over, unable to figure out how to take it apart, he lifted it in one piece out the mouth of the cave, throwing it, too, into the transport box. Last of all, he ripped down the mylar sheet still hanging loosely from a single peg, and motioned for his friend to be on their way.

 

Releasing Daniel, Salua hastened outside, pocketing the rope as he went.

 

Daniel remained sitting, listening to the animals pulling their cargo away into the distance, unmoving, long after the sounds were gone.

 

He had nothing left.

 

_____

 

"God, Daniel, I'm so sorry." Carter cursed her helplessness, kneeling beside her despondent friend, sitting with his eyes closed, head lowered. Jack just stared from a few feet away, swearing repeatedly, hating to see this happening to Daniel, despising those men and the cruelty of what they had done, worried at what would become of the loyal friend who had given up everything on the one single hope that his teammates might possibly, somehow someday some way be found alive.

 

The SG-1 trio sat watching, waiting, listening, hoping, fearing, until Daniel finally slid to the floor, eyes still closed, and curled up into as small a ball as he could manage.

 

_____

 

They watched Daniel lie like that as the night lingered on, the wind blowing in through the cave opening, the snow swirling its way inches into the front of the small cave. Daniel shivered throughout the night, otherwise unmoving. They couldn't tell if he was sleeping or not.

 

Daniel listened to the wind, to the soft flight of the snow that wasn't really making any sound other than in his imagination. He had known, before embarking upon the mission to 255, that he would die, that his teammates would meet a terrible fate. And still he'd let them go. So in a strangely ironic way, he could convince himself he deserved this, if he tried.

 

No, he didn't deserve to have his few belongings taken from him, left to live here with no warmth or food.

 

He didn't deserve this.

 

And his teammates didn't deserve to be lost in a wormhole.

 

If he stayed here, he would die of exposure and hypothermia.

 

If he tried to go back, he'd die of exposure and hypothermia, slightly faster.

 

And anyway, there was nothing for him to go back to.

 

So when the first glimmers of daylight created shadows on the floor of the small enclosure, Daniel remained where he lay, stiff body curled in a ball, eyes closed, unseen friends surrounding him closely, hands resting on his back, his shoulders, his hair, hands with neither physical warmth nor pressure, with all the offer of comfort one could expect from the state of practical non-existence.

 

_____

 

Hours pressed forward, and SG-1 sat gloomily against the cave walls, sometimes against Daniel.

 

"Come on, Daniel," Sam whispered near his cheek. "You can't give up. You're a fighter, a survivor."

 

The others had tried, and failed. They were aware the options were slim, that Daniel had no way across the water and if he even tried walking around it he'd freeze to death within a day or two. Daniel knew it; they knew it.

 

Jack broke the dismal silence. "I think he's met his match this time, Carter."

 

"It is because of us that Daniel Jackson does not appear to have the will to continue."

 

"It's because of us he's here, Teal'c," Jack's voice was not condescending, but soft.

 

Daniel stirred, and slowly sat up. His body ached from the cold and stiffness, and his hunger was overpowering. MREs were not fulfilling at the best of times, and his last one had been close to seventeen hours before. He was thirsty, and slowly made his way the few metres to the cave mouth with the intention of swallowing some snow.

 

The white landscape loomed infinitely before him, some hills and shrivelled tree stumps being all that broke the monotony, casting graying shadows at their bases. The snow was falling now, harder. This would have been beautiful back at home, reminiscent of Christmas.

 

"He should collect twigs, sir, and make a small fire. He needs to get warm," Sam stated with concern.

 

"He knows that."

 

"Sir…?" Sam was bewildered. Even in his misery, how could Daniel just give up like this? How could the colonel so easily accept it?

 

"Think, Carter. Where're his matches?"

 

"Th…" She stopped, her eyes wide. His lighter, his matches, had all been with his gear. "Oh."

 

"He's doing what he can, Sam."

 

Daniel came back inside, a large packed snowball in his cold red hands. It felt icy on his tongue, going down his throat, chilling him even more.

 

"Thanksgiving dinner," he muttered wearily, setting it down on the ground and tucking his hands under his armpits to warm them. "Who wants the first slice?"

 

Through her stinging eyes, Sam had to smile. She was positive she couldn't cry in this state.

 

"To whom is he speaking, O'Neill?"

 

"To himself, Teal'c." Jack responded to his Jaffa's confused and hopeful expression. "No, he doesn't see us."

 

Daniel gazed around at the interior of the cave... not really a cave, more of a deep alcove, a large enclosed overhang, but now, it was home. There didn't seem to be any point in continuing.

 

"Don't worry, Jack," he whispered, "no System Lords waiting to kill me at the end of this."

 

He buried his face in his hands, the reality of yesterday's incident forcing him to acknowledge that he had, indeed, seen the last of his friends, forcing him to realize that he was now doing nothing but inviting death. He couldn't just sit here and feel what freezing to death would be like, could he?

 

Yes, he could. One way or another, it would happen. He had no food, could not even hunt, with his gun being in his stolen pack, although in some odd way he found relief in that. He hadn't really wanted to shoot an animal that, like him, was only trying to survive the winter.

 

The light was growing dim, another day nearing its end. Dark came quickly here, and with it advancing cold. Daniel huddled against the farthest wall, just out of the way of the flakes that occasionally drifted in on the winds. He still had his double pullovers and his SGC jacket, at least. Another pair of socks would have been nice.

 

His eyes closing, his body lying curled in as tight a ball as he could manage, Daniel wondered if he would wake up in the morning.

 

_____

 

 

"Oh!"

 

The intake of breath was understood, as both Teal'c and Jack had already seen what had caught Carter's eye. Not needing sleep, they had all taken a futile watch, and the first moment of horror served to throw their impotence back in their faces.

 

Two eyes, glowing in the snow's reflection, peered in cautiously from the entryway. Attached to them was the dark shadow of a four-legged mammal, bear-wolf combination, and its open mouth revealed a healthy set of teeth. The animal was lean, thin… hungry.

 

Casting eyes at Teal'c and then at the dark form of a sleeping Daniel, Jack was already on his feet, shadowed by his Jaffa partner, knowing that he was helpless to aid his friend. But he also knew there was no way he could watch this creature kill and eat his teammate. Shit, Daniel…

 

The animal crept forward slowly, cautiously. Its forelegs lowered, it was in serious stalking mode. A few more steps, a single swift leap…

 

And the fleeting thought passed through Jack's mind that it was a good thing Daniel wasn't awake, for he would not be able to defend himself against this large animal. This way, it would be over before he knew what was happening.

 

But Christ, he couldn't watch.

 

"COME NO CLOSER!" Teal'c bellowed with fierceness in his eyes, as though he had a staff weapon in his grasp.

 

And the bearwolf stopped, and looked in his direction.

 

"Oh my god, it can see us!" Sam gasped, jumping up.

 

"RRRAAAGH…" Jack shouted, yelled, waved his arms, and the animal growled and backed off.

 

Daniel stirred, moved…

 

"No, Daniel!" Jack ran at the creature, taunting it, running out of the cave. It leaped and ran after him, as Daniel sat up.

 

Jack ran, ran, ran, by the light of the clouds and snow; never out of breath he could lead that thing far away if he could outrun it, and even if he couldn't… it wouldn't matter.

 

The beast lunged at him, and came up empty. Jack rolled away, running faster.

 

The game continued, a game of survival for the animal, a game of survival for Daniel, its contestant his closest friend, and the animal finally gave up, exhausted and disoriented, and loped off into the hills.

 

Jack made his way back to the cave, and reentered the darkness to make out the forms of Carter and Teal'c sitting forlornly by Daniel's side, the younger man leaning against the cave wall and staring into the openness of the entrance.

 

Daniel had seen that animal clearly enough in the shadows, stronger and larger than himself. He had heard its deep growl. Not knowing why it had run off, perhaps it had smelled a smaller creature outside, he fully expected it to return at any time that night.

 

"Take your choice, Jackson," he whispered. "Freeze to death or be eaten." Hindsight. Why couldn't Jack have just listened to him, when he'd been dreading this whole fucked up mission. Why did they ever have to come to P4T 255? What was so important about this place, anyway?

 

No, he hadn't known for sure it would be this mission. With his dread growing stronger and more persistent, he had been dreading many missions of late, and this had been just another in amongst many. No one could have known with any certainty; not Jack, not even himself.

 

Some part of him had been so sure his teammates were still alive. He just hoped whatever had happened to them had happened quickly, hoped they hadn't known what was coming.

 

At least they couldn't see how pitiful he had become now, so anguished and afraid and desperate.

 

Reaching into his jeans pocket, he pulled out his bottle of headache tablets, the one thing besides his watch that had remained on his person. Swallowing two of the pills, he clasped his hand around the small vial, his last bit of property, and hung his head. Belongings weren't so important; he had given things up before. But only a fool goes into the desert, be it one of sand or snow, with nothing but a bottle of aspirin and the clothes on his back.

 

Afraid to close his eyes, Daniel lay his aching body back down on the cold ground. It wasn't a choice he'd be able to make; this time, he was at the mercy of nature and the night. He'd just have to wait until morning to see how he had died.

 

Only his friends knew, this time, that they could make a difference. They would not let the animal come back.

 

_____

 

But they knew he would lie there until lethargic stupor put him in a state of freezing to death.

 

"He's going to die here, isn't he."

 

"He's reached a dead end, Carter."

 

"What will we do if… after…?"

 

There were still the three of them, and Jack was still their CO. Besides, they couldn't bring Daniel's body home until they were fully corporeal, until they could communicate."Walk back to the gate, I suppose. I can't fly anywhere, or wish myself somewhere else, can you, Carter?"

 

"No sir."

 

"Then I guess we exist in the village or wait at the gate until someone goes through it to somewhere else." Jack was so desperately hating this whole damn situation, feeling more sympathetic now towards his robot self, stranded as it had been in a lost life. This whole thing sucked, for them, for Daniel, for the SGC. Jack mourned his life, his fate, their fates, anger and self-pity building up to a crescendo. Maybe hunger and thirst were nonexistent in this dimension, but emotions were certainly held intact.

 

"If he dies out here, Carter… do you think then he'll be able to see us?"

 

"We're not dead, sir. We wouldn't be in the same phase, even if his spirit would carry on."

 

"Oh. Didn't want to hear that."

 

"Sorry, sir. It's all theoretical."

 

2:42 Earth time, another painfully never-ending night. This time, though, Daniel knew there was no SGC to go to come morning, no friends to watch as he pondered his motivation to continue working. Another day, colder, his body chilled to shivering, no hope of warmth. Even now, his legs felt the ever-present sting of overpowering numbness, the chill of the ground seeping into his bones through jacket and skin.

 

2:44, and only the distant muffled howls of some prowling animal.

 

As nighttime slowly but finally dissipated, daylight once more arriving in grays and Daniel's shallow breathing and occasional coughs telling his teammates he was still alive, a body appeared in the entrance, and then two more. Voices spoke, and Daniel felt a hand shaking his shoulder. Turning over stiffly, lifting his head abruptly upon suddenly remembering the hungry predator from the night before, he found himself looking up into the wrinkled face of an old man, behind whom stood Salua and Romau. "I have nothing left for you," Daniel choked out, as he laid his head back down.

 

The old man was angrily muttering, gesturing around the cave, motioning first at Daniel and then at the younger two, who held their heads down, gazing at the floor. It almost seemed as though the old man was reprimanding them. Who, the youngsters, or Daniel?

 

"The grandfather, ya think?" Jack was watching them, frowning. This might not be good, even though good hadn't been happening much the past few days at all.

 

The old one ushered the young men outside now, and Daniel could hear some heated words, before they returned with his pack. Eyes wide, Daniel tried to concentrate on the verbal interaction. The old man was waving at him, motioning for Daniel to come.

 

Slowly, the archaeologist rose, and painfully, begrudgingly, followed the three men outside. The older one motioned for Daniel to get into their snow box, first throwing in his backpack. Gesturing, excitedly motioning, the old man was vibrant, his fur coat thick and loose around him.

 

Hesitantly, for he was wary and afraid of these people, Daniel did as he was told, for he had nothing left to lose.

 

SG-1 got in beside him.

 

"Where are we going?" Daniel shouted into the wind, his query being ignored. The wind whipped at his face, his ears, falling snow covered his hair, lashes, and jacket. Hunger beat at his insides, and he longed to sit down and fall into oblivion. But he stood with the three others, as the landscape slid past, hour after hour. This was a different route than the one he'd walked from the lake.

 

Stopping briefly at a hut covered in animal skins and furs, and sheltered beneath a tall snow-covered hill, the old man jumped from the vehicle, motioning Daniel to remain. The other two followed him inside. Daniel slumped against the box side, lowering himself gently to the floor. No way could he continue to remain standing.

 

"Colonel, maybe the wolves can see us?" Carter asked hopefully. O'Neill studied her face thoughtfully, pondering the possibilities. He walked through the box, and went to stand in front of the animals.

 

They looked up at him, not moving anything but their tails.

 

"They think we're real, Carter. They're obviously well-trained… and not hungry."

 

"Scare them, sir," was her only suggestion.

 

"Hey, we want them to let us back into the vehicle, Carter."

 

Just then the men returned, and within moments they were off again.

 

Hours passed, the dreary gray daylight quickly diminishing. They had skirted around the perimeter of the partly frozen lake. Pulling up at a little hamlet, six or seven huts of similar construction to the one they had paused at earlier, all passengers jumped from the vehicle. Several women and children came curiously up to the open box, lending Daniel a hand. Others untied the wolves, leading them away.

 

"Damn," muttered Jack, not that there would have been any way to let Daniel know it was them making the animals uneasy, no matter what reaction they might have initiated.

 

Daniel wearily followed the small group into one of the huts, his body numb. The temperature inside was still cold but the cutting wind pleasingly gone. A rug of fur was placed around his shoulders, and Daniel sank to the ground in relief. "Thank you," he tried to smile. There, spread out in the corner of this alien dwelling, he noticed with both surprise and trepidation, were the rest of his own belongings.

 

Accepting a heated bowl of liquid, Daniel closed his eyes, savouring the warmth penetrating his insides.

 

"Finally," Jack muttered. Maybe someone would now take care of his best friend.

 

Cocooned in his sleeping bag and finally warm under a fur rug, Daniel slept through most of the night. Waking once, he didn't fully understand why these people were taking care of him, unless they were trying to make amends for their youngsters having robbed him, having left him to die. Robbery might be condoned… and he'd see in the morning, if they let him leave with his belongings… but murder was likely the coward's way of doing things. Daniel was more than glad for their hospitality, realizing that if he really did want to die, he wouldn't be feeling such relief.

 

_____

 

They set off in the morning once again, the three men and Daniel, but this time the journey took barely more than half the day. Daniel could feel the temperature warming up somewhat, unless that was just the aftereffect of having completely warmed his body throughout the night. Stopping at the lake, here mostly unfrozen, the old man gestured towards a small boat bobbing by the shore. All passengers disembarked from the box with their belongings, and Daniel's pack and tent were tossed into the small blue boat, of a construction similar to LahAddy's.

 

Were they taking him back to the village?

 

As the two young men got into the boat, waiting, the old man returned to the sled.

 

"Wait! Aren't you coming?" Daniel called, but the elderly one quickly took off, and Daniel paused, watching until he was but a speck in the distance.

 

Did he trust these two?

 

If they hurt him now, the old man would never know.

 

They were calling to him, waiting. Throwing each other glances. Smiling. Smirking?

 

Daniel had nowhere else to go.

 

"Sir?" Carter looked worried.

 

Jack threw her a quick sideways glance. "No choice." He didn't like this either.

 

_____

 

The silence in the boat was uncomfortable. Daniel could barely look at the two men whose friendship he'd thought he'd gained just two days before, and who had then so coldly relieved him of every possession that would keep him alive. Mostly, they chatted with each other, ignoring him. That was fine, as far as Daniel was concerned, but still… uncomfortable. Every so often, he'd been too aware of Salua subconsciously fiddling with that damn cord.

 

Daniel chewed on a hard crisp MRE, his turn at the spring winders done. The weather was definitely warming up. The lake water glistened, cold spray hurling at him each time the boat jolted.

 

Salua held out a cylindrical vessel. "Kofee?" he grinned.

 

Daniel frowned, then nodded. "Coffee." If he'd been so inclined, Salua could have just taken it…. Daniel poured a spoonful into the outstretched cup, as Romau nodded in the quest of one for himself.

 

Evening came, as the men pulled up on shore and spread their animal skins across some rocks. Daniel set up his tent a slight distance away, just far enough to be aware of any approaching footsteps. Lying in the darkness, listening to the muffled voices of the others, he was still too wary to sleep. Skills learned on offworld missions were hard to break, and he kept watch over himself most of the night. Jack would be proud, he thought. No, Jack… would never be proud again.

 

"Go to sleep, Daniel," Jack told him. "They're not going to do anything to you this time." But he knew Daniel was nervous, fearful. Maybe that was a good sign. Maybe that meant Daniel still cared about himself.

 

_____

 

They let him off at the tip of the lake where he'd first embarked, and he knew the way back, now. Four or five hours walking… and he'd be at the Stargate.

 

And then what?

 

_____

 

Daniel had passed through the town where he'd first met LahAddy, but carefully avoided greeting anyone. He didn't want to see or speak to his former guide, or have to explain that the whole thing had been a major misunderstanding. Didn't want to accept the fact yet that he'd been so terribly wrong.

 

The gate loomed before him, that horrible thing that had spouted a malfunctioning wormhole, the monster that had so easily and nonchalantly consumed his friends, his family.

 

He stood before it. Unless he was prepared to live the rest of his life in this place, a world with too many bad memories, even more created within his own mind, he would have to dial up and go through.

 

To somewhere.

 

Not Earth; he'd just be disciplined for leaving his team in the middle of a mission.

 

Not Earth, with reminders of his missing team around every corner.

 

"Sir, he's dialling Abydos!"

 

As the vortex splashed open, Daniel and his missing friends stepped through.

 

_____

 

"Hold your fire!" Daniel shouted the instant his feet touched the soil of his former adopted homeland.

 

He was surrounded by weapons. Most of these Abydonians he didn't recognize.

 

"It is Danyel." But they knew him.

 

Weapons lowered, Daniel was free to approach. Two or three familiar faces strode up from the rear, grabbing Daniel and smiling.

 

"Kasuf?" Daniel questioned.

 

"In his home," they answered. "But where are your others, Danyel?"

 

Daniel's brief sense of homecoming flitted immediately away, and he frowned. What was he thinking, coming here? These people were no longer his family; there were as many memories here as there were on Earth. "They're gone," was his simple answer, and he broke free of their grasps. Turning his back on the gate watchers, he exited the pyramidal structure.

 

Daniel stood on the steps, gazing out towards the sands of his former home. The main village was over the dunes beyond. But his feet had other plans, and he turned, heading instead further into the desert. He didn't want to see Kasuf, to talk to him; he just wanted to walk.

 

Daniel trod on, through the thick sand, oblivious to the growing heat and burning sun. On and on, blocking out all thoughts, unaware of the teammates who strode by his side, hovering above the loose soil.

 

"Where's he going?" Carter asked worriedly.

 

"Don't know," came the sharp reply. Jack had thought maybe Daniel would be okay, would get through this, would return for a while to the adopted father he'd had on this planet. Heading into the arid desert was not his idea of healing.

 

And still Daniel walked. The scorching sun glared down upon his head, the sands caused his feet to stumble. At least it was warm here.

 

Daniel knew he was running away. Knew he couldn't face the reality of where his life was heading, didn't want to. He'd lost too much, and this time, feeling sorry for himself was gaining right of way.

 

Thirsty, Daniel whipped out his last bottle of water. He should have filled up once more before leaving that snowy land. Exhausted, he dropped to his knees at the foot of a low sand dune, then sat down flat, sinking inches into the loose soil. Grains blew into his face, his hair, and he closed his eyes, leaning back against the mound.

 

"Daniel, this isn't good. Get up." Jack had visions of his friend being buried in the next sandstorm, and no one finding him for weeks.

 

"Why?" Daniel asked, eyes still closed.

 

"Why?" Jack looked at the others, startled. "Is he just being philosophical?"

 

"You'll die here, that's why." Jack attempted again. But this time there was no response.

 

Daniel was tired, emotionally and physically. Hot, hungry, thirsty, despondent and miserable.

 

"Daniel…Daniel! Open your eyes, for crying out loud."

 

Daniel could almost imagine the breeze speaking to him, plucking memories from his subconscious to torment him with. He looked up, expecting to see the same shimmering mirage of water that he'd been seeing for the past three hours.

 

Instead, he saw a shimmering outline of three people he'd been so missing, fading in and out on the heat waves.

 

His eyes brimmed with tears. "God, I miss you," he whispered to the illusion, his eyes looking through the wavering image of Jack.

 

"Carter?" Jack shouted sharply. "You have any idea what's going on?"

 

"Actually… yes, sir! Daniel… Daniel! If you can hear me, listen carefully. Get back to the SGC, tell them to bombard the gateroom with UV rays… Daniel, can you see me?"

 

But the wind's voice was gone, along with the vision, and Daniel did not hear.

 

"Major Carter? Do you understand what has happened to us?"

 

"Teal'c, Colonel… when Daniel disappeared courtesy of that skull, he was bombarded with muon radiation; we all were. Any time we go through a wormhole, we're exposed to safe degrees of radiation, electrical power, EM fields, heat… even though the compression of molecules causes us to feel cold. When we went to 255, the event horizon didn't have the energy needed to get the three of us through together, to allow us to integrate normally. When Daniel was out of phase, he'd been enveloped with massive amounts of some power source; this time, we didn't get enough. Daniel made it out safely because he went through alone."

 

"So why is Daniel sort of seeing us now?"

 

"The hot, strong sun here. Sir… what was missing from 255?"

 

"Sun," "Heat," O'Neill and Teal'c voiced together.

 

"Daniel… listen… Daniel, please. You don't have much time." If Daniel remained out here much longer, surely he would suffer sunstroke and dehydration. "Daniel." Sam touched his arm, but Daniel's eyes did not open again. "He saw us for a moment sir; with the UV rays and the intense heat, we're beginning to reintegrate, but the sun itself isn't strong enough to complete the process."

 

UV rays, gateroom. EM generators, sun lamps… heat. Why was he thinking of these things?

 

Radiation… UV, muon… he'd been invisible once, and his teammates had thought him lost… no, this wasn't the same thing.

 

But… what if his teammates were still on base? The wormhole hadn't shut down on them; what if they'd somehow exited on 255, and had followed him back to Earth? They could try the TER's, transphase eradication rods… radiation, heat… maybe sound tones like those that had revealed the true bodies of those aliens…

 

Not one to completely question his visions and instincts, not since that hand device message from Sha're about a harcesis child had proven true, Daniel stiffly rose, his head pounding. With nothing else to go on, no other hope, this far-fetched, implausible ray of insight had come from somewhere. While it seemed that perhaps shouting "Eureka" and dashing off to test a theory was either in order or premature, Daniel knew he still had to get back to the SGC and convince one skeptical General Hammond that solitude, grief, ice, and desert heat had not impaired his thinking.

 

Or maybe it had.

 

_____

 

His one bottle of water had lasted barely the first two hours of his return journey, and Daniel had stumbled into the pyramid fueled only by pure will and hope. This would get done, if it was the last thing he ever did.

 

The vortex now splashed open, watched by several pairs of curious Abydonian eyes, and Daniel nervously fingered his GDO, keying in Kasuf's IDC. How long had he been gone?

 

The ever-present Abydonian MALP came to life, and Daniel stepped in front of the camera. "General?" His dry voice shook.

 

"Doctor Jackson?" came the surprised reply. The video coming through was of a weary traveller, stubbled, droopy-eyed, but filled with some sort of contagious optimism.

 

"General… I accept any consequences for my actions, but I have to come home. I think I may have a solution for the retrieval of SG-1."

 

The pause seemed infinite. "Opening the iris, Doctor."

 

Daniel took a deep breath and stepped through.

 

_____

 

"Doctor Jackson, why would you think this idea could be possible?"

 

Daniel looked around the briefing room, at the faces of the general and the CMO, Dr. Frasier, at the skeptical looks of two gate technicians and one physicist. He closed his eyes. "I don't know."

 

Hammond and Janet exchanged glances. "Where are you suggesting SG-1 is now? In the gateroom?"

 

"I don't know."

 

"Doctor…"

 

"General, I know how absurd this sounds. An insight, an idea, came to me in the desert heat." Daniel grimaced, knowing how lame and insane that sounded. "This is a long-shot, granted, and if it doesn't work I'll leave the SGC and never bother you again. Or I'll inhabit some dark cell in the basement where you can deliver artifacts and food to me…but please, just hear me out. When the crystal skull rendered me invisible, out of phase…"

 

"We didn't encounter anything of the sort this time, Dr. Jackson."

 

"No… I know that. But I think that had to do more with the radiation in that place than the skull itself. Sam can tell you more. I just think… I think maybe they've been here the whole time, General, just out of phase, like I was."

 

"But you're saying we have to bombard the gateroom with as much power as a wormhole would conduct! We can't get that much power just from UV-A rays, and exposing the gateroom, not to mention SG-1, to any other type of radiation can be dangerous, Doctor!"

 

"We've had radiation in there before, sir. Just low levels, combined with high heat, maybe an EM generator for electrical pulses. Please… you have to try."

 

"Listen to him General," Jack was leaning over the desk, nerves bouncing. All three missing members of SG-1 were barely daring to breathe. Daniel was their only chance, now… thankfully, for they knew he was the one person who would never let this rest.

 

"Very well, but we'll try the sound resonance first, then scour the base with TERs, and see if SG-1 appears on base. We'll try the power and heat sources as a last resort, at which time, Doctor Frasier, your assistance in the control room would be welcome."

 

_____

 

Daniel had never been so nervous in his life.

 

Two theories down, one to go. This was the only one he'd really thought might work.

 

Jack squeezed Daniel's shoulder, his fingers feeling nothing and penetrating the black t-shirt. "Better get down to the gateroom, kids. Party's about to begin." Jack himself was nervous, hope and doubt mixed with a certain elation. Daniel had done it; he'd convinced the general to try this, but they still didn't know what sort of power combination they'd require. Hammond was starting with low levels of safe power sources, which might have no more effect on them than the Abydos sun. At the very least, however, it might render them slightly visible, which would still help their cause and get further experimentation renewed. If this worked, today his team would be reunited and he, Carter, and Teal'c would get their bodies back. But they'd been gone for two weeks… if it was too late… if they needed something more…

 

"You coming, Sir?" Carter looked at him with humour in her eyes. But she knew exactly what he was feeling. "Get as close as you can to the flow from the generators, sir, and it might be quicker."

 

"I feel like a damn machine, Carter. Hook me up and plug me in."

 

Sam smiled. "More like recharging your battery, Colonel."

 

"How comforting," Jack grunted.

 

As Daniel sat in the control booth watching the gateroom being flooded with energy from power generators, heat and UV-A radiation from their most powerful heaters and sun lamps, all power sources being combined and carefully controlled, he sensed pitying faces looking towards him, as for the third time nothing seemed to be happening. Ignoring them all, never taking his eyes off the gateroom below, Daniel kept his mantra going, "please, please, please, please…"

 

… until three figures, translucent but visible, wavered in and out of view, and a dozen breaths were expelled.

 

"Oh my god."

 

The power was turned up, and everyone waited.

 

The figures continued to fade in and out of visibility, and as the time passed, the levels of heat and radiation rose to nearly unacceptable levels for human exposure.

 

Slowly, very slowly, the figures of SG-1 took shape, becoming more and more solid and corporeal, until finally, nearly three hours after the process had begun, they were completely intact.

 

Daniel dropped his head to the computer desk, shoulders shaking. No one disturbed him.

 

"It's about time!" O'Neill's voice shouted from down below. His grin betrayed his mood. "Are we going to stay like this, Carter?" He ran his hands along his thighs and arms, dwelling upon the physical contact of his own body, his legs feeling heavy upon the concrete floor.

 

"SG-1… are you alright?" General Hammond still couldn't believe what he had just seen.

 

"Yes sir," called a smiling Sam.

 

"Indeed, General, we are fine."

 

"How's Daniel, General?"

 

Hammond looked at the archaeologist, face down upon the desk. "Eager to see you, SG-1."

 

"Permission to take a shower, sir? And then grab a steak?"

 

"Not yet, Colonel," Dr. Frasier interrupted. "We'll need you in quarantine for some tests. Let's get you all out of that heat quickly, Colonel."

 

Carter saw the disappointment on the colonel's face. "Sir, we've been gone this long. Another few hours won't be so bad."

 

General Hammond turned his attention to the man whose head was still buried in his arms, and touched his shoulder. "Son, go get some rest. We'll talk about this in the morning."

 

"Yes sir." Daniel wearily lifted his throbbing head, rubbing his red eyes. He looked down at SG-1, already being herded out of the room by others in hazmat. "Welcome back, guys," he whispered.

 

_____

 

"Daniel. Wake up." Although shaking his obviously exhausted friend awake was a bit guilt-provoking, Jack was thrilled, ecstatic even, that he could actually have this impact of movement upon Daniel's shoulder. For far too long, his touch hadn't counted. There was more to be said about physical contact than people ever gave credit for.

 

Daniel turned over, confused. His three teammates were in his bedroom? Wait… he had tried to see them in the infirmary, but they hadn't been there. Not being allowed into quarantine, he had showered and dropped himself into bed.

 

Quarantine?

 

"It's noon. You were supposed to meet with Hammond this morning."

 

Realization flooded his memory, and Daniel groaned. "Doesn't matter. I'm sure I don't work here any more."

 

"Oh, I'm sure you do, if I have any say in the matter. And I already have," Jack grinned.

 

Daniel sat up abruptly, staring. "Oh god, you're back. You're alright!"

 

Sam sat on the bed beside him, thrilled at the weight she was able to place on the mattress, at the movement she caused. She kissed him gently. "We're fine, Daniel."

 

"So you… you were out of phase, this whole time? Stuck on base?" How frightening that would've been. They'd been that way for so long, and would've known everyone had given up on them.

 

"Uh, no," Jack glanced at his cohorts. "We were with you."

 

"What?" Daniel didn't comprehend.

 

"We did indeed accompany you in your travels, Daniel Jackson."

 

"To the land of ice and snow, to the bastards who took your stuff." Jack looked into Daniel's warm blue eyes. What a terrible loss his death would have been.

 

"You were there with me?" Daniel repeated.

 

"You didn't listen to me there any more than you usually do," Jack teased, but Daniel just stared.

 

"There like… there?" Daniel was still stunned, still trying to understand.

 

"In your tent, Daniel. That close enough?"

 

"The colonel chased that bear thing away, Daniel."

 

Daniel glanced up sharply. That's why it had run off? They'd been there, beside him, watching him… witnessing his despair, his cowardice, his sense of futility and approaching death wish… "Oh god. I made a fool of myself."

 

Jack's eyes flew open wide, the expression mirrored on the visages of his two other teammates.

 

"You did no such thing, Daniel Jackson."

 

"Daniel," Sam took his hand in hers, "You did everything you could. We're proud of you."

 

They were there… saving him from being eaten alive, watching him be robbed yet powerless to help …god, what they must have gone through…

 

"So on Abydos…?" Daniel let the question dissipate.

 

"Finally thought you were seeing us, Daniel."

 

"I almost … I didn't… oh god, you would have died." Realization of everything hit him. "All this time… you were waiting for me to come up with an answer, and I was out on a wild goose chase."

 

"Searching for us, Daniel," Sam refuted gently.

 

"In the wrong places. God, I took so long. I'm so sorry."

 

Jack placed his hands on his friend's shoulders, then stroked a thumb down his cheek. "It's over. You were the only one doing anything at all, Daniel. We owe you. And by the way, it's good to be back." His eyes twinkled. "And I'll do my best to annoy you again."

 

As brown eyes locked on blue, the anxieties and dread of days past flooded Daniel's mind, days of wondering if he could do this work, questioning whether this was where he really wanted to be. He had his answer, once again. Here, with these people, helping them survive and accepting their help in return, was exactly where he wanted, needed… was supposed… to be.

 

He didn't want to be at home, or on permanent duty in the basement of the SGC. He wanted to be with SG-1, the only destiny he could really imagine, even though he still knew, felt, deep down, that one day something terrible would happen to one or all of them, something they would not be able to pull themselves out of.

 

"It's good to be warm," Daniel added, smiling.

 

 

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