See You Alive
 
by Travelling One
 
 
Email: travelling_one@yahoo.ca
Web: http://www.travellingone.com/
Season: 10
Related episodes: Shroud, plus minor references to Avalon, Origin, and The Quest.
Summary: This is a tag to Shroud. Jack and Daniel have a farewell chat.
Notes: If there are many tags to Shroud out there, I haven't seen them. Apologies if this is redundant.
 
July 2007
 
 
 
"So, will I see you again any time soon?" From behind his desk, Daniel locked eyes with Jack before the other man could turn around to leave. Back in his office for the first time since he'd been turned into a Prior, with Jack now standing there, everything seemed oddly normal and familiar. Comforting. Yet it was a fleetingly doleful moment in time, for throughout most of Jack's stay Daniel had not been able to enjoy the company. He had, however, been able to appreciate it, even while locked to a chair.
 
Jack paused, half turned in stride, his profile blocking Daniel's view of the doorway. The hundred thousand dollar question. "You tell me."
 
Daniel frowned, trying to figure that one out. It sometimes seemed Jack's mind was getting harder to read in his absence… or maybe Daniel was just tired. "How?"
 
"Every time I walk out this door, Daniel, I never know if I'll see you again."
 
Daniel puckered his lips in thought. "A little melodramatic."
 
Jack turned fully, took two forward steps and leaned over, resting his hands on the desk. His intense brown eyes bore into Daniel's. He let the posture take effect before choosing his words. "Oh? In the past two years, Daniel, do you know what I've heard when I've answered my phone? Goes something like, 'Doctor Jackson is in an unresponsive state, joined to an alien woman by a bracelet. He'll die unless they're kept in close proximity.' Here's a good one: 'Daniel's finally awake, Jack, but during the time that his heart stopped, he claims he was about to be burned to death.'"
 
"Jack - "
 
"No, Daniel, let me finish being melodramatic, I'm on a roll here. Let's see, just recently I read a report that said you walked straight into a burning fire. Straight in, Daniel, because of - what did you call it? Faith? Faith, Daniel. And your team let you do it. A team, as I recall oh too well, that was playing guide-dog to…wait a minute here, while I surrender my list of sane things to say… Ba'al. And, yes, this time the phone call I'd really been dreading: 'Jack, Daniel's been captured and presumably taken aboard an Ori warship. Alone.' Damn it." Jack removed his hands from the desk and his eyes from Daniel but just for a moment. Just long enough to turn away and back again, a mini pace in lieu of the longer one he'd enacted so many times back in his own office in Washington. "Not that I'd want more missing people, and I'm thrilled to death the rest of SG-1 got home safely. But fact is, they left you behind, Daniel."
 
Daniel's mouth opened, not in preparation to speak, but in surprise. He should have known, but never thought Jack would call anyone on that. Maybe he'd never intended to, had it not been for an innocent question upon a friend's departure. The man's most sacred tenet, commandment to top all commandments, his most important rule to live and work by, had been set aflame, left to erode. And to Jack, that was unforgivable. Daniel had felt the same, once. No, he still did. They all did. "They had no choice."
 
"Yes, they did."
 
"They couldn't have helped me against Adria."
 
"I'd have tried. I'd've stayed with you."
 
Yes, he would have. Daniel knew that. "And you would just have been captured too, if not worse."
 
"And we've been captured by Apophis how many times? Not to mention Heru'ur, Hathor, Seth, Sokar, Ra, and a host of others, pun intended. Daniel, get this straight. Without that Merlin in your head, you wouldn't have stood a chance alone. With backup, you always have a chance."
 
"A long-shot of one."
 
"Better than none. And better not to be somewhere like that alone."
 
"I did have Merlin in my head."
 
Jack tasted his next words, turned them around on his tongue until he was sure they were the ones he wanted. "And Mitchell and Carter knew he'd get you out?"
 
Daniel paused. They both knew the negative answer to that. Daniel hadn't been sure of anything himself, on that ship. He threw himself into Merlin's plan because it was the only one he had.
 
Jack continued, assuming the floor was still his, in the silence. "Truth was, Daniel, they had no idea what was happening to you. Trust me, I know. I was on the pacing end of that, by the way."
 
"Jack - "
 
Jack held up a finger. "I'm not done. Because if that's not enough to keep me awake at night, the next thing I know, you're back on Earth. But you're a Prior, emissary of the Ori, full features and everything. And what's even worse, our own people want to kill you. So you see, Daniel, I never know, each time I get back on that plane for Washington, whether I'll see you alive again." Long answer to an innocent bombshell of a question, but now Jack thought he was done.
 
He was mistaken.
 
"You don't trust SG-1 any more." Daniel averted his eyes. In the two years since Jack had left the SGC, they'd apparently managed to ruin eight years of closely knit hard work, in Jack's eyes. Something that meant more to Daniel than anything he could ever own, do, or be.
 
The words hit Jack like a kick in the stomach. He'd never have thought of going that far, saying as much. "You all go off on missions as a team, then split up to do your own thing. That's not teamwork, Daniel, and it's going to get one of you killed." Jack picked up an artifact, stared at it blindly. "That'll probably be Mitchell, but I'm putting you a close second."
 
"We watch out for each other."
 
"Daniel, you're an experienced member of this program, a seasoned field veteran, I know that. You have more sense than most people on this base. But if in title only, you're still a civilian. Mitchell and Carter should be watching out for you, not sending you off alone on planets. Not leaving you behind. You're not some damn super hero. Doctor Jackson."
 
The hurt was painted across Daniel's face, but his words warred with his mood. Deep down, in a place he would not admit to anyone, he knew Jack wasn't wrong. It had taken three members of SG-1 a long while to trust Mitchell's judgement, and in so doing they had all become more self-reliant. Having two colonels on the team probably compounded that. Daniel had felt as though he was the only one with no power, in spite of his vast experience. "I can take care of myself." Usually.
 
"I know that. But that's not the core of a team."
 
"So you don't trust Mitchell? Or me?" After all these years, Daniel knew Jack's choice of the latter - or both - would be devastating. He still valued Jack's trust and respect more than anyone's.
 
"I don't know."
 
Daniel nodded slowly, the hurt visible. "Fair enough."
 
"I don't trust Mitchell to keep you safe. I don't trust you not to go and do something overly heroic to compensate."
 
"We've managed so far, Jack. Same as we always did with you on the team."
 
"I never left anyone behind intentionally."
 
Daniel was silent, and solemn. He did know what Jack was saying, and knew that somewhere the line was being drawn and blurred. Was there ever an exception to that rule? Not in Jack's book, he knew. And that had always endeared the man to him, earned his devotion. They'd have put their lives on the line for each other, but not out of duty. Out of friendship.
 
"In all fairness, I told them I'd be right behind." As soon as I'd won the battle with Adria.
 
"And they believed that?"
 
"I'd wanted them to."
 
"While you were in the middle of fighting an Ori leader, and losing." Jack's voice carried the skepticism his face wouldn't show. "Say it."
 
"It doesn't matter - "
 
"Say it, Daniel. They left you behind."
 
"They had to."
 
"Because they knew, and you knew, you weren't getting away from her. That none of them could have."
 
"Yes."
 
Frustrated, disheartened, and done with getting this off his mind, Jack aimed himself towards the door, almost ready to leave. Not that he'd ever really be ready; Washington was a job, it wasn't home. He looked at Daniel one last time, and his voice softened. "So, no, I don't know if I'll be seeing you again. I'd like to, but I honestly can't say." Sticking his hands in his pockets, Jack let his eyes wander the room. Anywhere now but on Daniel.
 
"Then I promise. We'll get together again. Soon."
 
"In some dire situation, with you burned or dismembered or mutated into something else?"
 
"No. With me just as I am now."
 
"Well, good, then. Since you've promised." If nothing else, if their little chat made Daniel more cautious, then something good would have come of it.
 
"Jack, I appreciate you believing in me through all that. I'd be frozen - or dead now - if not for your influence."
 
"I do what I can."
 
"Your being here through this helped me deal with it."
 
Jack swung around, his eyes vehement. "That, Daniel, is something you can always count on." During the short pause that followed, Jack turned for the final time and headed to the door.
 
"You have no idea what that means to me."
 
Stopping in the doorway, Jack sighed, his back to his friend. "I think I do."
 
"Jack…" Daniel continued talking to a back, "if for some reason I do die out there… again - and last time I was on a mission with you, by the way - know that it was the right thing to do, in order to save other people, and I knew what I was doing. I have no desire to die pointlessly."
 
And that was Daniel, had always been Daniel. The man hadn't changed other than to become even more stubborn and independent. But that's what had drawn him to Daniel right from the start of their acquaintanceship.
 
"Okay." Good thing Daniel couldn't see his face.
 
""I'll see you again."
 
"Yeah. See you again." Jack bowed his head, examining the concrete threshold. It passed inspection.
 
"Alive," Daniel amended.
 
"Even better." Jack stepped out the door, and disappeared into the corridor.
 
"And thanks for coming." Daniel had no idea if Jack could still hear him. "Oh, and Jack?" He said out loud, just in case, "I miss you too."
 
 
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 Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of MGM, etc. I've written this story for entertainment purposes only.